Monday, May 8, 2017

The Difference Between Romantic Love and Sex

Romantic love exists. Emotional attachment exists. Yet they involve different brain structures and different biochemistry than what drives pure, lustful sex. Once there is attachment or love, a separation can cause pain. Oxytocin helps to quiet this pain and can function very much like other neurotransmitters and inhibit suffering. To listen to my patients is to understand the terrible pain of a child separated from his parent; the cry of separation is an attempt to bring that parent back close again; it is true in nearly all animal forms.

There is a structure within the brain known as the cingulate cortex, which is responsible for that cry. This cortex is like an arc overlaying the limbic/feeling area and also deals with aspects of emotion. This area plays a role in maternal care and loving. The cingulated cortex is responsible for making the chemicals of comfort, and is also involved in inducing a sense of empathy, the ability to feel what others are feeling.

The cingulate cortex is endowed with endorphins, internally produced painkillers. When animals cry (as a result of separation from their mothers), these painkillers surge forth to ease the pain. When such a separation is abrupt and goes on for a long time, the baby’s pain becomes imprinted in the brain and remains. It is more pain than what a young body can tolerate.

Mother Nature knows that a baby needs two parents to care for him. Pair bonding is the result of two adults becoming attached, having sex, having a child, and loving that child. With the love these parents themselves received early in their own childhoods, they have the oxytocin and vasopressin that enables them to love their own child. Love is the foundation, therefore, for survival because when it is lacking, the child does not get the love he needs and he suffers, and the system becomes skewed and dislocated. Later, there may be disease and premature death as a deviated system is forever out of whack. A baby needs to be caressed and feel the sense of touch, which is the baseline of love. Without it, the brain changes and is less adaptive.

Alterations inside a pregnant woman, who does not want her baby, can affect the brain development in the womb so that the frontal cortex of the fetus becomes impaired. This has implications for later learning and adaptation. The mother's attitude, if not loving, adversely affects her fetus. It is one reason that we cannot be taught to love later on, though we can be taught to behave in a sociable manner. Love is not something to be taught. It is something we learn through our experience.

When the stimulating hormone, dopamine, and the repressive hormone, serotonin, are both at proper levels, there can be feeling and love. When serotonin is too high, there is too much repression and the ability to love is less. When dopamine is too high there is too much agitation and not enough cuddliness to allow love. A proper balance is needed among all the hormone systems. This is particularly true with oxytocin in females and vasopressin in males. After sexual orgasm, both of these levels rise by hundreds of percent in both parties, as if to say that attachment and closeness are part of sex or perhaps "should be," according to nature. It's nature's way of saying that sex should be taken seriously and is part of the syndrome of romance.

Constant random sex has nothing to do with love and is more or less a release of tension. It actually contradicts nature. However, there are two different brain/biochemical systems involved – one for pure sex and the other for attachment. We can be attached to someone and still have sex with someone else without love. There is evidence that in the latter case – sport-sex – the oxytocin and vasopressin levels are lower.

What are we to make of all this? That love exists and it is has physical effects. It can sculpt our brains early on. It is an intimate part of sex, and it ensures healthy development, both physically and mentally. Love is not an ethereal entity, but something we can measure. It may be a more accurate gauge of our state of being than all the protestations of love we might make. Love really does make the world go round.


  1. But the sun can shine on me sometimes!

    We find that much is as it is but forgets ourselves in the pursuit of meaningful posts... then we find... it is not! The fact around emotions will never see the light of day before we reach what makes it impossible... feelings we have no idea exists... it for more than the symptoms we suffer from them. Many of them have been normalized and thereby been relegated to unknown circumstances. To get there by your own and then achieve a revolutionary effect... then you have to change what happens at the top of the hierarchy... or else the decaying forces will continue their struggle with the consequences that humanity's days are counted and that will happen by our own inability to not perceive our own limitations and for what science has been shown for decades.

    These words above will soon not find their room to be repeated... it of an endless destruction when hatred gets its outlet? Am I a judgment man? Yes... given for what happens and how we are like people. But the dark fields are already there... within us... so we have some little time and opportunity to change what's happening... but look at you... an outcry echoes through every cell of your body and you do not even know that. Do I use big words? No... but the child in us can not speak up himself... we can not even hear so we will die with it.

    Science is always there... it's only a matter of if we discover it.


  2. The simple fact that sex leads to pregnancy (pre age of contraception) and the human animal requires attached parents to develop properly, suggests that sex is not "supposed to be" casual....or loveless.

    And I wonder if the conservative preoccupation of using social forces to stop premarital sex is, ultimately, an expression of a neurotic society's inability to achieve real marriage ie. Attachment...

    So we build culture to replace cover and compensate a deeper problem?

  3. Hi Art,
    I am infatuated in a turkish Lady but I fear the first sexual contact with her /she is not my sexual dream Lady ... but I hope I love her in the first meaning,,,

    Is "this" really separable?...!!
    Yours Emanuel

    P.S. She showed me her overwhelming good Soul/character ad infinitum ...! when I told her about te reaction of Lady in berin..
    IMenthusiastic Report of my visits to Mosques about the friendlyness and warmth etc. ended it shut up with coranic bulshit !--

    The "Lady" was once an OSHO foller and now goes to Methodist church in Berlin..

    Thanks to ALLAH for all my muslim People !!

    1. Emanuel...gotta be careful with people who lose themselves to cults.

      They're usually lovely well-intentioned people, but when lost souls displace responsibility for their actions onto some form of "higher authority" (ref. milgram experiment) anything can happen.

      Just make sure she's not a devout fundamentalist :)

  4. Art!

    I was at my daughter's schoolyard where they had the students' day with entertaining activities. Suddenly... I see a woman standing a little farther away holding her handbag. I saw her hand hold the handle on her bag and there was my mom holding in her bag. I could feel how she stood there staring straight out without any attention to me. I already knew then that everything was not right as it suppose to be... Mom was not mom... she was a scared and shy person... as nothing else wanted than to sink into the ground to not be seen. Well at home I got the feeling again. Her hand... I saw how helpless she was and I wanted to call Mom... Mom... Mom... MOM... MOM ... MOM... MOM I AM HERE.


  5. Beautiful, scientific, motivating, poetic, in depth, and precise, this piece of writing is just plain WOW. Is there a chemical for that? :) Mitch S.

    1. The mix of chemicals remains a secret to this day. Put it down to life experiences. The poetic or lyrical part came out in the work on a musical called "Scream" which was never released it seems. The song "The Colour of My Love" by Foster and Janov was gifted to the young singer Celine Dion who had performed it so well. This review is as good as I have been able to find for insight into this:

    2. Hi Mitch,

      I was being too cute by far saying that the mix of chemicals remains a secret. The hormones Art wrote about in his post may be an important part of the answer to your cute question. I was copping out really. I am just as wowed as you. How can one explain? I guess that is what you were saying. Putting it down to personal experience doesn't explain anything. There is a personal style involving the ability to recover from failures and keenness to learn and to help others less fortunate. My guess is we'll have to wait for Art's autobiography. Meanwhile we have our own paths to travel.


  6. Beautiful article about what really matters.Really touched by it, warmth just flowing throughout my body as I read it, a rare occurrence, unfortunately. Most people don't think about these things since love is rarely discussed even though intensily longed for. And Janov has demonstrated the dire consequences of lack of love especially when we are young, yet practically no one cares.

    Why is the human race so out of touch with itself?


  7. Our thoughts have taken over because we were so vulnerable to emotional pain and we do not know about it. Our thoughts do not reach there... as was/is its task. So our understanding is not up to the meaning of knowing it... and so we are looking for anything for whatever there is and madness is the human lot... why the culture arose and man disappeared in its opinion of being human.



  8. Oh... what human tragedies there are to support professionals in their opinion of being helpful in its meaninglessness!


  9. There must be an opinion about life when we do not feel... otherwise it becomes meaningless! So we have a dead end in the sense when trying to make sense of a meaning... as we do not feel.


  10. Hi,

    and jealousy is the snake in paradise. Often that painful bite comes after many years of suffering under the illusion of your desires masquerading as un met need. Maybe it started with envy, which surely is the first sign of un met need? That you 'feel' a grasping need for something someone else has, but you haven't.
    After a while mere envy, if left unaddressed can turn to jealousy.

    What was once a benign sign of something amiss (through recognising other's needs met) then becomes a festering weapon where you begin to believe those 'others' should NOT have what they do, because you have not those needs met for yourself.

    Then you're in hell aren't you?

    When envy turns to jealousy - the snake in paradise.

    Paul G.

  11. Hi,

    and after jealousy has festered for a while, nihilism may set in. It's a kind of 'reverse hedonism' where you take pleasure in NOT getting your needs met. What's the point?

    Then in desperation, no longer feeling comfortable in your own skin, you don a horse hair vest to remind you of your suffering and dampen your 'desire'. . .

    All this can happen automatically without much volition because it got it's start with unmet need when we most needed it. And that progression from envy to nihilism (via jealousy) is common. It's a global act out, it doesn't stop there.

    The horse hair vest becomes a symbol of power, when really it is false pride. None are more so prideful than those who have made a religion out of their unmet need. Particularly when they demand obedience from their followers. Then revenge becomes the military wing of your jealousy. . . Acted out there in foreign policy. . .

    Meanwhile the bureaucrats and sychophants are desperately collecting all the documents and information together which such avaricious fervour they fail to burn ALL the evidence before fleeing with jewels. . .

    Lets hope the Primal Police are not needed to conduct a post mortem and fraud investigation eh?

    Paul G.

  12. Hi,

    -"why must love speak in riddles"-?

    Paul G.

  13. You are or will be crazy... for what ever choices you make in life... if you do not get into the cause of what made you crazy... for what ever that was. And who am I to tell? I'm one who starts to get out of it!


  14. Still in the head and come with smart posts to preserve self in an isolated state !?


    1. But Frank,

      When I'm not on this forum I have feelings, which no amount of anti depressants will hold down; I really wish I were able to get Primal to get deeper and better access but I am not allowed into USA, well, not for long enough. Also I have to provide certain 'guarantees' - it's really petty and you just would not believe how that happened - Oh well, here goes - short version: I demanded Primal from the authorities, I (correctly)accused the Social Services of Emotional Abuse when they emotionally abused me and my son. My peer group of 'New Age Therapists' froze us out. The authorities threw the book at me, dug the dirt, re activated a whole load of old unproven 'petty criminal' activity and some wildly made up serious criminal accusations. UK is not a democracy, I was naive to assume it might be. Blah !

      Neither can I use this forum to express my feelings because I don't want to. Recently, after going through a phase of poetry and prose to try to 'express' my feelings, I finally gave up.

      I write as a journalist and a satirist. Primal is great for satire. Without Art and you wonderful bloggers I would be limited to facebook. Hardly anyone on facebook understands either Primal or Satire, as you probably well know.

      Sorry to those I have offended, it came from my true feelings but got distorted as it came up and out.

      My intent was satire, not violence.

      So much for 'expressing' feelings.

      Paul G.

    2. Paul,

      In what sense is Primal Therapy "great for satire"?

      Those of us who had our lives saved thanks to the treatment, we found a great deal of sadness and sorrow, but also many opportunities for freeing, liberating laughter.

      All the Patients I met have been genuine, honest and easy to deal with. Committed to making up for life lost.

      No one found reason to be satirical about these endeavours.


  15. So many people are promiscuous and to them sex has nothing to do with love, but men get approval for this behaviour whilst women are labelled sluts. This double standard has long been pointed up by feminists, BUT they also appear oblivious to the fact that loveless promiscuous sex is some sort of neurotic act out, and to the vital importance of love for babies and young children.
    Feminists also are very strident in demanding free abortion rights for all women and the right to bring up children as single mothers. I´ve long found it strange that anyone could be unaware of the stress inherent in bringing up a child alone, and of the danger of that stress affecting the child. I´ve also heard of how aborted foetuses die in agony whilst being aborted.
    Strange, but perhaps predictable in a movement which by definition demands the full equality anf humanity of women, but rarely mentions the rights and humanity of children.
    In my work promoting animal rights, I´m acutely aware that non human mammals feel the emotional pain of loss and separation. In the dairy industry, INCLUDING so-called "humane", "organic" or "free range", calves are separated within eight days of birth from their mothers and the mothers will often bellow for days, even weeks, afterwards, sometimes go missing to look for their calves, sometimes collapse with grief, sometimes become depressed. Yes, DEPRESSED. The calves are deprived of their mothers milk, but also of their warmth, love and protection, often poignantly trying to suck the fingers of their executioners, three months later, minutes before being slaughtered for veal.
    What are we to make of this? The reactions of a "machine"? That´s how animals are still portrayed by the colossal animal murdering industry. Whilst perpetrating this preposterous lie, they also hide the truth from the public. And the truth is, most animals feel love, grief, sadness and terror just as much as we do. The reactions of the grieving mother cows I describe couldn't be anything else. Gary

    1. Hi Gary,

      where I come from there has been a lot of support for women. My city is very progressive indeed. A local social worker once said to me that in many cases the interpretation of 'women's rights' had gone way too far and allowed abuse to flow the other way.

      It's a sad but true sexist joke that here in UK it has long been bandied about that all you have to do to get on in the world is get pregnant, wait for the local authorities to re house you, dump your child's father and move in another boyfriend - charge them both for the privilege by getting the authorities to bill them. All the while screaming "Wimmin"! ! !

      It's almost as if revenge is somehow going to 'rebalance' the gender equation and the children get caught in the crossfire.

      There has become a new minimalisation of the value of men to the point where many men simply have no real idea of who they are, why they are, what their purpose is and what they want. It's terrifying for young working class men at the moment. In Spain I hear 50% youth unemployment ! 'Wimmin' tell me to suck it up and realise that's how women feel and it's ALL men's fault. I read that in Japan staying a virgin, remaining celebate and out of a relationship is now seen as a fair choice for men. Japan and UK have many similarities.
      I used to read 'Spare Rib', I called myself a feminist, became a new man and ended up alienated because most women I met didn't want any man to help them or even agree with them - they seemed to be hell bent on doing everything for themselves. Stoic to the point of willful counter-dependence. and some in their 50's & 60's still sneer at men as if we are lower beings - merely sperm donors. What I discovered is that so many women 'need' to be their own mistresses. This has resulted in just more of the same old same old problems as more women chase the so called 'best jobs' and strut about acting out all superior, just like those idiot men, despicable for being so self interested and such narcissistic exploiters.

      Empowerment doesn't work like that, all that is a false liberation and so far I have encountered as many women who are resistant to Primal Theory as men.

      If I had to write a story/play about false enlightenment and find actors to play the part I would chose a woman for the lead role to expose some of the supreme arrogance I see going on. The current un elected UK Prime Minister does women absolutely NO service at all, apart from reinforcing that old adage: "Mother Knows Best" - So, "Not Now, Shut Up, Go Away" (which is what she said about people protesting brexit).

      A lot of low level petty abuse like that goes flying right under the radar, but it accumulates and forms an impenetrable wall of yet new Gender Issues which I can't see benefiting anyone. It's all an act out: An 'expression of repression'.

      Paul G.

  16. How much do you know? Enough to not understand life! An unexpressed sentence to its defense for what the meaning of its nature refers to... so am I lost.


  17. Art,

    This is much needed knowledge for a society gone mad and crazy and on the verge of self destruction. It is like a breath of fresh air and common sense, in a stale, stinky dungeon.

    Your article is especially significant because it is coming from someone with the credentials of an academia trained psychologist. Even though you may get a lot of criticism, it does help.

    Today we have a perfect storm occurring where everything is going wrong.

    There are a lot of destructive factors occurring simultaneously working hard to destroy the world.

    And a very significant factor is the foolish, vain, shallow, shortsighted, hedonistic, humanistic, psychology on relationships, sex, baby making, gestation, and child raising, generally taught in academia and generally practiced and written about in practically all media. It is destructive psychology.

    If they had a clue what was going on, they would never allow a pregnant women to suffer any stress or work at a job outside the home. Or do anything other than homemaking and even have limits on that.

    The more they teach and practice, the worst things get. Their teachings alone will cause civilization to go mad and crazy and self destruct in only a matter of time. It maybe the major factor.

    And anonymous Gary has added well to what you wrote, which spurred me to write.

    I have learned the following:

    Sex has three functions:

    1. To keep a man and a woman interested in each other.

    2. For procreation

    3. For rejuvenation.

    Estrogen and testosterone are also the major source of energy, strength and vitality, through the best years of our lives.

    Based on my research and study of other's work, and my own observation, (and even some experience) I have developed an hypothesis that the abuse and misuse of sex causes lots of psychological and emotional disorders which takes years to manifest.

    Mental weakness, craziness, insanity, neurosis, schizophrenia, dementia, psychosis, Alzheimer's and others. Add sexual disorders and diseases (incl cancers) to that too.

    Promiscuity, multiple sex partners, perverted sexual practices, adventurous sexual practices, too much sex, porn, oral sex, carnality, causes these kinds of problems to occur decades down the road.

    Plus a loss of the sexual magnetism, and even developing discordant and repulsive emotional energy fields.

    And an increasingly inability to form emotional bonds.

    I can't prove this, but if anyone thinks I am nuts, just go and do your own study, research and especially observation of people.
    When you observe, think like a scientist, think in terms of cause and effect. See the trees and the forest at the same time. See the small picture and the big picture.

    Look and see what is actually there, what has actually occurred, not what you think is there, or what someone said is there.

    See what is actually there.

    Especially carefully study older single women, in their 40s, 50s, 60s and so forth. They appear to get the worst of it. My hypothesis is they absorb not only the energy of sexual encounters, but also semen into their blood stream, which causes them to suffer the worst of it. Semen (sperm) carries a lot of information. It is a perfect recording organism.

    Every sexual encounter causes an exchange and absorption of energy. And corruption of the chakras and energy body.

    Oral sex causes a corruption of the head chakra with the sex chakra.
    When you see someone acting like they are fucked in the head, (I mean in their older yrs) you might be able to figure out a possible reason as to why?

    Also when conflicts occur, then break up and separation occur, then when the individual gets into another relationship, they see the new partner through the experiences of the former, and this is called baggage. It is full of emotional buttons (triggers) for new conflicts.

    The trouble with trouble is that it often starts out fun.

    Sex is not a toy.

    Sex is a creative- spiritual function, don't fuck with it.

    1. Totally strange, David. I guess we are all in big trouble, according to you.

    2. David,

      have you read Art's "Sex & The Subconscious"?

      Paul G.

    3. Hi David,
      -"Mental weakness, craziness, insanity, neurosis, schizophrenia, dementia, psychosis, Alzheimer's and others. Add sexual disorders and diseases (incl cancers) to that too.

      Promiscuity, multiple sex partners, perverted sexual practices, adventurous sexual practices, too much sex, porn, oral sex, carnality, causes these kinds of problems to occur decades down the road.

      Plus a loss of the sexual magnetism, and even developing discordant and repulsive emotional energy fields"-.

      In Art's "Sex & The Subconscious", he explains why he believes what you describe as cause to be symptom.

      What do you think?

      Paul G.

    4. David,

      Scientists don't talk about chakra, neither head chakra nor sex chakra. And since this here forum is based on Art's blog, Primal Therapy, Primal Theory, Primal Pain, and life in the Primal Dimension, I see no reason to introduce religious or cosmic philosophy. I hate all these efforts of trying to convert and distort Primal Therapy into something "improved by me", that will make everybody happier.

      If it's not in the Primal Theory, if it doesn't fit into the Primal Theory, IT DOES NOT BELONG TO THE PRIMAL THEORY. Take it somewhere else.



    5. Paul,

      There are lots and lots of causes of those diseases and disorders.


    6. Yes, Sheri,

      We as a civilization are in big trouble.

      We are on our way out.

      We are in a perfect storm situation, with many destructive forces or causes converging at the same time to destroy civilization.

      The apocalypse is happening now, in slow motion and gradually and insidiously (to most people) speeding up.

      I can't see how we can recover.


    7. David, Your posts take up an inordinate amount of space on this forum, due to (1) their length and (2) your style of separating each one or two sentences with spaces, which seems to me a way of adding dramatic effect by emphasising everything you say. They appear to me, to be sermons, and you appear to me to think you have the right to take up more space than other people.
      You seem to think we all need the benefit of your superior insight and research to enlighten us. I am surprised that Art publishes so many of your sermons, sorry comments, which are both highly questionnable and of questionnable relevance.
      Your attempt to confer the status of incontrovertible fact upon your theories by stating them to be the product of research, observation etc, suggests to me your desperation not to be contradicted.
      And perhaps your preoccupation with sex is all your own primal stuff?
      If you saw my dogs going at it, you would be forgiven for thinking that, as you put it "Sex is not a toy. Sex is a creative- spiritual function, don't fuck with it"
      Or, just being animals - and I´m quite aware from your previous sermons, sorry, posts, of your attitude towards non human animals as of forms of life of very little value compared to our own highly evolved species - perhaps it never occurred to you to even bring the somewhat inconvenient purely physical enjoyment of sex in non human animals into your sermon, (Agh! I did it again!) sorry, comment.
      I mean, are animals wrong to just enjoy sex for pure sensuous pleasure? Gary

    8. Erik and Gary

      David's views are shared by millions of people. Let him speak.

    9. To Eric, Gary and all my critics and condemners,

      I am not trying to hijack Art's blog, nor are there any other real problems you perceive.

      Such as my style or using too much space, or too long, or have too much to say. Those problems are only manufactured by your mind, or made problems in your mind.

      There is no shortage of space in cyberspace.

      I fully understand your problems.

      It is also, not that I know so much, it is that you know so little.

      Great spirits know that most criticisms are not true.

      It is just noise from small minds.

      Einstein and all great minds in all of history have had the same problem.

      The problem comes in all shapes, forms, sizes and colors, even imprisonment, even death, as in Jesus' case.

      Throughout history lots of great spirits have been imprisoned for speaking the truth.

      I knew two personally. I studied under them.

      And Einstein expressed the problem eloquently in the following famous quote of his:

      Great spirits have always received
      violent opposition, criticism and persecution
      from mediocre minds.

      Most mediocre minds boil over when they hear the truth, or hear too much truth, or do not like what they see or hear for any other reason, even if it is just covert jealousy or just simple irrational hostility.

      Crazy people and critical people are very creative, they always invent new ways to be crazy and critical.

      It is just a fact of life for great spirits.

      If crazy people do not have enough crazy problems, they will invent some.

      Great spirits have always known that small minds, narrow minds, shallow minds, crazy minds, are not qualified to comment on anything.

      Plato may be the first thinking person in recorded history to realize that problem in his life and in society. And he lamented and explained it in his writings.

      It is expressed in the "Allegory of Plato's Cave".

      There are dozens of versions of his allegory on youtube.

      Go and take a look at a few of them.

      The point is not whether you like what I said or not, or agree with what I said or not.
      The point is whether it is true or not, and mediocre minds are not clearly qualified to make that judgement.

      Great minds know that most people are only intelligent enough to criticize and condemn others and argue to defend their own ignorance and their right to be that way.

      A little bit of research on line, will reveal that Art has had similar or worse problems with critics, naysayers and condemners, over the years.

      For one, he was criticized or accused for claiming that he could cure any problem of the mind, or something to that effect.

      He wrote some 20 books in 50 yrs and yet he is still little known and respected or acknowledged.

      Mainstream psychology and psychiatric academia is still trying to solve the problems of the mind, that were solved more than 50 yrs ago.

      (And, I am sure that Art knows that he does not have a monopoly on knowledge.

      I am sure, even Art learned the basics of what he knows from other great minds that came before him.)

      Great spirits know that when the Devil's dogs come out of the dark, out of bushes and ditches and bark and bite at their heals, or worse, go for the jugular vein, they know they are on the right road. They know they are doing something right.

      Galileo had the same problem:

      See Galileo on wikipedia:

      Charles Caleb Coulton also expressed the problem poetically:

      There are two ways of establishing a reputation.

      The first is to be praised and appreciated by honest and intelligent men,
      and the second is to be condemned by fools, rogues and scoundrels.

      It is however best to secure the first,
      because it is always accompanied by the latter.

      Solving the problems of life, does not depend upon critics and mediocre minds.

      It depends on great minds, great spirits, who think outside the box, think in terms of how they can solve a problem, not why it should not be solved or how it should be not be solved, etc. and tolerate great criticism and condemnation through life.



    10. David,

      In war, the forerunners get the arrows in the back. Galileo, Darwin, Art Janov. Thanks for the reminder.


  18. Is to die that scares us most because we do not know that it has already happened and the illusions find no limits to what will happen.


  19. Sure one looks over and might see their own Mom ...sure I've seen my own Mom watching in an audience while children were on stage singing...Mom looking shy and quite, but I always knew she was o.k. even in the audience, and always would be o.k....she had her children always by her side (just as Dad wanted it). ...almost makes one want to cry thinking about that. Thanks for writing this Art. Nice post.

  20. Hi David,

    a blues song for all us love lost men:

    -"Faith, Hope & Charity"-.

    I met Faith when much too young,
    I lost her to a boy who sung a better song,

    Then Hope came along,
    and took away my grief,

    For a while, we were mates,
    in bed and in belief. . .

    Now, after 7 years of loneliness,
    I have all my fears to confess. . .

    - and only Charity to hope for.

    Oh Charity,
    Oh Charity,
    save me from loss,

    Bless me please,
    Don't leave. . .

    Oh Charity,
    Oh Charity,

    Love me now don't leave.

    I sense some women feel like this too, in reverse gender situation.

    Paul G.

    1. Paul:

      I like your poem Faith, Hope, and Charity.


      It is true, that it is the very same for women, if not more so.

      Beachcoast clearly makes that point, in the next blog.

      I actually think it is more so, for women.

      I met a very nice lady (mid 40s or so) who had a booth at the farmers market, a couple of weeks ago, selling wine for a local cottage winery.

      She was so wonderful to talk to, so intelligent,so sensible, a beautiful soul. It was not too busy and I talked to her for a couple of hours, in between the odd customer.

      I then asked her if she was married, and she emphatically said that she was married and made it clear that she would never get married again.

      There are evidently great emotional wounds still there, that will always be there, without the right education and therapy.

      A fairly large portion of our population is that way.

  21. Hi All,

    I just found this:

    I dunno if this link works.

    Paul G.


Review of "Beyond Belief"

This thought-provoking and important book shows how people are drawn toward dangerous beliefs.
“Belief can manifest itself in world-changing ways—and did, in some of history’s ugliest moments, from the rise of Adolf Hitler to the Jonestown mass suicide in 1979. Arthur Janov, a renowned psychologist who penned The Primal Scream, fearlessly tackles the subject of why and how strong believers willingly embrace even the most deranged leaders.
Beyond Belief begins with a lucid explanation of belief systems that, writes Janov, “are maps, something to help us navigate through life more effectively.” While belief systems are not presented as inherently bad, the author concentrates not just on why people adopt belief systems, but why “alienated individuals” in particular seek out “belief systems on the fringes.” The result is a book that is both illuminating and sobering. It explores, for example, how a strongly-held belief can lead radical Islamist jihadists to murder others in suicide acts. Janov writes, “I believe if people had more love in this life, they would not be so anxious to end it in favor of some imaginary existence.”
One of the most compelling aspects of Beyond Belief is the author’s liberal use of case studies, most of which are related in the first person by individuals whose lives were dramatically affected by their involvement in cults. These stories offer an exceptional perspective on the manner in which belief systems can take hold and shape one’s experiences. Joan’s tale, for instance, both engaging and disturbing, describes what it was like to join the Hare Krishnas. Even though she left the sect, observing that participants “are stunted in spiritual awareness,” Joan considers returning someday because “there’s a certain protection there.”
Janov’s great insight into cultish leaders is particularly interesting; he believes such people have had childhoods in which they were “rejected and unloved,” because “only unloved people want to become the wise man or woman (although it is usually male) imparting words of wisdom to others.” This is just one reason why Beyond Belief is such a thought-provoking, important book.”
Barry Silverstein, Freelance Writer

Quotes for "Life Before Birth"

“Life Before Birth is a thrilling journey of discovery, a real joy to read. Janov writes like no one else on the human mind—engaging, brilliant, passionate, and honest.
He is the best writer today on what makes us human—he shows us how the mind works, how it goes wrong, and how to put it right . . . He presents a brand-new approach to dealing with depression, emotional pain, anxiety, and addiction.”
Paul Thompson, PhD, Professor of Neurology, UCLA School of Medicine

Art Janov, one of the pioneers of fetal and early infant experiences and future mental health issues, offers a robust vision of how the earliest traumas of life can percolate through the brains, minds and lives of individuals. He focuses on both the shifting tides of brain emotional systems and the life-long consequences that can result, as well as the novel interventions, and clinical understanding, that need to be implemented in order to bring about the brain-mind changes that can restore affective equanimity. The transitions from feelings of persistent affective turmoil to psychological wholeness, requires both an understanding of the brain changes and a therapist that can work with the affective mind at primary-process levels. Life Before Birth, is a manifesto that provides a robust argument for increasing attention to the neuro-mental lives of fetuses and infants, and the widespread ramifications on mental health if we do not. Without an accurate developmental history of troubled minds, coordinated with a recognition of the primal emotional powers of the lowest ancestral regions of the human brain, therapists will be lost in their attempt to restore psychological balance.
Jaak Panksepp, Ph.D.
Bailey Endowed Chair of Animal Well Being Science
Washington State University

Dr. Janov’s essential insight—that our earliest experiences strongly influence later well being—is no longer in doubt. Thanks to advances in neuroscience, immunology, and epigenetics, we can now see some of the mechanisms of action at the heart of these developmental processes. His long-held belief that the brain, human development, and psychological well being need to studied in the context of evolution—from the brainstem up—now lies at the heart of the integration of neuroscience and psychotherapy.
Grounded in these two principles, Dr. Janov continues to explore the lifelong impact of prenatal, birth, and early experiences on our brains and minds. Simultaneously “old school” and revolutionary, he synthesizes traditional psychodynamic theories with cutting-edge science while consistently highlighting the limitations of a strict, “top-down” talking cure. Whether or not you agree with his philosophical assumptions, therapeutic practices, or theoretical conclusions, I promise you an interesting and thought-provoking journey.
Lou Cozolino, PsyD, Professor of Psychology, Pepperdine University

In Life Before Birth Dr. Arthur Janov illuminates the sources of much that happens during life after birth. Lucidly, the pioneer of primal therapy provides the scientific rationale for treatments that take us through our original, non-verbal memories—to essential depths of experience that the superficial cognitive-behavioral modalities currently in fashion cannot possibly touch, let alone transform.
Gabor Maté MD, author of In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction

An expansive analysis! This book attempts to explain the impact of critical developmental windows in the past, implores us to improve the lives of pregnant women in the present, and has implications for understanding our children, ourselves, and our collective future. I’m not sure whether primal therapy works or not, but it certainly deserves systematic testing in well-designed, assessor-blinded, randomized controlled clinical trials.
K.J.S. Anand, MBBS, D. Phil, FAACP, FCCM, FRCPCH, Professor of Pediatrics, Anesthesiology, Anatomy & Neurobiology, Senior Scholar, Center for Excellence in Faith and Health, Methodist Le Bonheur Healthcare System

A baby's brain grows more while in the womb than at any time in a child's life. Life Before Birth: The Hidden Script That Rules Our Lives is a valuable guide to creating healthier babies and offers insight into healing our early primal wounds. Dr. Janov integrates the most recent scientific research about prenatal development with the psychobiological reality that these early experiences do cast a long shadow over our entire lifespan. With a wealth of experience and a history of successful psychotherapeutic treatment, Dr. Janov is well positioned to speak with clarity and precision on a topic that remains critically important.
Paula Thomson, PsyD, Associate Professor, California State University, Northridge & Professor Emeritus, York University

"I am enthralled.
Dr. Janov has crafted a compelling and prophetic opus that could rightly dictate
PhD thesis topics for decades to come. Devoid of any "New Age" pseudoscience,
this work never strays from scientific orthodoxy and yet is perfectly accessible and
downright fascinating to any lay person interested in the mysteries of the human psyche."
Dr. Bernard Park, MD, MPH

His new book “Life Before Birth: The Hidden Script that Rules Our Lives” shows that primal therapy, the lower-brain therapeutic method popularized in the 1970’s international bestseller “Primal Scream” and his early work with John Lennon, may help alleviate depression and anxiety disorders, normalize blood pressure and serotonin levels, and improve the functioning of the immune system.
One of the book’s most intriguing theories is that fetal imprinting, an evolutionary strategy to prepare children to cope with life, establishes a permanent set-point in a child's physiology. Baby's born to mothers highly anxious during pregnancy, whether from war, natural disasters, failed marriages, or other stressful life conditions, may thus be prone to mental illness and brain dysfunction later in life. Early traumatic events such as low oxygen at birth, painkillers and antidepressants administered to the mother during pregnancy, poor maternal nutrition, and a lack of parental affection in the first years of life may compound the effect.
In making the case for a brand-new, unified field theory of psychotherapy, Dr. Janov weaves together the evolutionary theories of Jean Baptiste Larmarck, the fetal development studies of Vivette Glover and K.J.S. Anand, and fascinating new research by the psychiatrist Elissa Epel suggesting that telomeres—a region of repetitive DNA critical in predicting life expectancy—may be significantly altered during pregnancy.
After explaining how hormonal and neurologic processes in the womb provide a blueprint for later mental illness and disease, Dr. Janov charts a revolutionary new course for psychotherapy. He provides a sharp critique of cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoanalysis, and other popular “talk therapy” models for treating addiction and mental illness, which he argues do not reach the limbic system and brainstem, where the effects of early trauma are registered in the nervous system.
“Life Before Birth: The Hidden Script that Rules Our Lives” is scheduled to be published by NTI Upstream in October 2011, and has tremendous implications for the future of modern psychology, pediatrics, pregnancy, and women’s health.