Teach Me to Fish

  There is an old saying:  give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats forever.  That is what we do in our therapy.  We try to take all of the mystery out of our therapy; we explain all our techniques and theories to patients so that they can learn how to do it. Therefore they can leave therapy with sufficient tools to carry on helping themselves.  Our goal is to make the patient independent as soon as possible, rather than enhancing his dependence by keeping the techniques of therapy hidden.  It is, after all, the patient’s brain and body; we don’t want his feelings to go unnoticed, and we don’t want them to go on un-experienced.  But once he gains access to feelings he has the first technique for making himself well.  There is always a real need for dependence in therapy for a time, but that is  to be discouraged as the patient can stop  acting out being the child who needs a daddy or mommy.  Once this need for protection and guidance is felt we want her to stand on her own feet.  She should look to herself for answers and not us. She is the master of her unconscious and knows it better than we do.

  Let me give an example.  Nearly all new research finds that the earliest months and years of our lives leave a lasting impression—in my language it is called the imprint.  If we don’t know about that we cannot successfully help anyone.  For example, a new study finds that infant stress affects the teenage brain.  If we ignore infant stress we will never  understand brain problems as we grow up.  (See: Nature, Nov. 11, 2012. Also found in Nature Neuroscience, check http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/11/121111152930.htm).  This study examined several hundred  children from  birth to early adulthood.  They found that four-year-olds exposed to chronic stress (arguing parents, divorce, death of a loved one), have high levels of the stress hormones (cortisol) in their systems.  We found that, as well, in our beginning patients.  These high levels correlated strongly with aggression, impulsivity and other related behavioral  problems.

  These researcher also scanned the brains of 57 eighteen year-olds who were part of the original study.  They had weaker connections to  feeling centers such as the amygdala.  There is much more to the study but what is clear is how early stress affects our feeling capacity and in our  navigating the world.  And we see how all this plays into such problems as attention deficit.  So with patients we want them to understand their feelings and how it affects their  learning ability; and  with their knowledge to  understand and control their inability to concentrate.  They learn to cure themselves and they learn to make themselves better.  They no longer rush to the doctor for answers; they have the answers they need.  Besides no one else knows more about you than you. Nothing is more informative than your own feelings; they teach us what feelings drove what act-out or act-in.  What  makes our migraines come on or what raises blood pressure.  Feelings inform us about why the heart races and breathing gets shallow.  They explain why the tantrums and crying jags.  Why the sudden terror or panic attacks  . No more mysteries.  No more feeling helpless before the onslaught of anxiety.  Ain’t that great?