Tuesday, June 30, 2015

The Revolutionary Twins: Truth and Love


I often write that the simple truth is revolutionary but it is also true  of love, and just maybe they are twin sides of the same coin.  What is true for us humans is the need for love.  I have spent my whole therapeutic life explaining in every way possible the effects of love and no love.  The ultimate revolutionary truth is love; hence the twain can meet.

Why can’t my colleagues in psychology find the truth of love/feelings? What is so difficult about it.  Why in every psychologic theory extant is it missing?  It is like some mystery hidden in a closet that we all ignore, something we must not touch.  And why is it so closely tied to truth?  Maybe it is because the truth is so revolutionary that it means re-creating a whole new approach to psychotherapy reflecting the lack of love.  It means overturning every Behavior/Cognitive therapy that is strewn about everywhere in our field. And when we lift the covers from this abstract theoretical blanket we find deep lacks of love wallowing in a cesspool of pain.  There are groans and moans and we pay no attention to them because we cannot understand their language.

Maybe it is all avoided because we do not fully understand its importance in the psychologic scheme of things.  If a parent pushes his child to succeed and neglects holding him, kissing him and nuzzling him, then of course it will be missing from his life, and above all, from his intellectual theories. How can an unloved child grow up to value it if he has never felt what was missing all of his life?  Until this pain is felt it will be covered over and fancy theories will supplant his ideas about therapy.  This is how a recent Scientific American explains in a recent title piece how (Too Much Praise Promotes Narcissism:  June 17, 2015) We learn how too much praise can make a child self-centered, narcissistic and  arrogant.  This is what is called  in Yiddish, a bubbminsa (spelling), an old wives tale brought down through history to “educate” our offspring.  It is not that Scientific American endorsed it; but they gave it a prominent place in the discourse.  This is shocking from a scientific journal but not surprising because it all comes from the same paradigm the intellect:  uber alles.  Or how about nursing a baby too long makes him addicted to sucking?  Or how about holding a child too long spoils him?  What is missing here?  Clinical experience, but much more personal loving experience, being and giving love, which would dissuade anyone from believing this nonsense.  What they cite are statistical truths which must take a back seat to biologic truths.

Let me cite one axiom:  It has to do with need.  If we allow nursing to go on until the baby no longer needs to, there is no problem.  If we nurse him due to our need to appear hip and progressive, a  great deal is lost and there is addiction in the making.  He is no longer fulfilling his need, he is filling theirs.  Since their need may be a deep pit, the converse of fulfillment of need takes place.  It is too much and produces the same kind of pathology as fulfilling too little.  The real need to both cases is ignored.  We have abrogated the rule of need.  If we hug him every time he cries and never let me cry over a fall, we abort his need to shout out his pain.  Of course, he needs solace but he also needs to express himself.  I have seen this in neophyte therapists who are far too quick to hug and give solace to a person who needs to feel his pain.  It is aborted.  We pay attention to his need and not ours things will usually go right; first, we need to have felt our need: to be bright and understanding, to be empathic and blah blah.  Choose your unfelt need and you will know.  If you need to be famous the child will be pushed to achieve, and love will be nowhere in sight.  He will unconsciously be filling the need that you as a parent lacked when you were  a child.  You need to feel important he will do his damndest to be famous for you. He will be the best athlete in school or the highest level scholar. And you will praise him for exactly what you needed praise for and never got.

Luckily, I had parents who never cared for a moment, not even to know where I went to school.  They had no ambitions for me, and there was nothing I could do to feel loved and approved.  So I never became anything they wanted because they had no ideas or ambitions for me.  I was a pure anxiety case, as a result because there is nothing I could try or be that would make them look at me or talk to me, not the least to say what I  never heard --- that was good what you did.  After all they were Russian peasants who  knew nothing of child-rearing or love except that they should be working in the fields very young.  And to quote this august scientific journal cited above, never praise them or else you will spoil them.  I can’t believe this kind of thinking still exists but psychologic science seems to be in process of dumbing down, reflecting the zeitgeist.  And why is that?  For one key reason---FEELING.  It went missing and not only cannot be found but no one knows it is missing.  Wait a minute, I know where it is.
 
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51 comments:

  1. PaulJune 30, 2015 at 2:52 PM

    Art,

    what is it that finally allows one of us (neurotic) human organisms to accept our feelings and let them take the lead? What & where is this 'turning point'? Why & how do feelings become the leader in a human when eventually they do? How much repression and suffering leads to a reversal of the prevalent attitude?

    If you could answer these related questions you might be able to write a book that supersedes all your other efforts and unites them under one single title. . .

    Paul G.

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    1. Arthur JanovJune 30, 2015 at 9:23 PM

      Paul: I have, and besides it is out there on my blog. art

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    2. PaulJune 30, 2015 at 11:36 PM

      -Our gating system finally gives In ?

      There's so much resistance to Primal though. I read the Primal Scream in 1985 (and took it seriously) and even I didn't comprehend the truth in it fully until 25 years later. I was susceptible to and fell for much of the 'booga booga' during that 25 years.

      My 'turning point' was at the collapse of my marriage, business, loss of family and my gates failing. . .

      What would it take for the 'established science & political communities'?

      I don't mean to be cynical but repression is incredibly effective. . . until it ISN'T ! ! !

      Best Regards and many thanks,

      Paul G.

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    3. PaulJuly 1, 2015 at 12:12 AM

      Ahh, I think I finally got it.

      Firstly about my insights. . . they take a while to 'crystalise'. If I may get onto what Gary quite rightly pointed out about "Cruelty" being a misappropriated word. He's right, and I was on the right track to start with too, but I didn't (at first) fully appreciate my own insight, anybody else experience that too?

      It's about brainstem (ancient) responses: Art has used a word before several times: "Militate". . . It's a good word because it's understood in many sciences and describes exactly the 'black & white' / for or against basic response of the brainstem to the environment.

      We 'militate' against anything we are unsure of. . .

      Thus when we are in the library of our minds we cannot see the 'secret doorway' hidden in the book cases that line the boundaries of our minds. In order to keep ourselves safe we ignore the possibility that doorway exists into another world of feelings that lay BEHIND our bookshelves. . .

      And of course ALL of Art's books and this blog are SIGNPOSTS pointing to that secret doorway. . .

      Thanks for the signposts Art.

      Paul G.

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    4. FrankJuly 8, 2015 at 3:12 AM

      Not to forget Paul,

      "We 'militate' against anything we are unsure of" We militate against something we dont know anything about at all... that is way we 'miliate'! We dont know because we can not know... it as we know to not know about it. Knowing is what we do to not be aware what we 'miliate' about. That is what conscious awareness is all about!

      There could be different... but it's not... it because we do not speak with the brain that are feeling... we are talking about it... if we talk at all! Notice... it is a difference by talk about it or with it. About will keep it at distance... with it... we come closer to the limbic system by using the right words that we learned in the neocortex. If the word need is far from its frequency in our neocortex we are in trouble.

      But words will not be able to complete it... the words were too far away at the time of horrible pain. I believe you Art!

      Your Frank

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  2. KatarzynaJune 30, 2015 at 11:22 PM

    My mother is neurotic type, always tense, always agressive, always with high blood pressure. My father is her slave. As I watch on them, I feel nausea, all it is fake. My mother can say 1000 times "I love you" and she thinks that is all. She never touches her feelings, she has almost 70 years but acts as 40 years ago when I was a child. Both of my parents never loved me, they just needed their needs to be fullfilled.

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  3. AnonymousJuly 1, 2015 at 3:47 AM

    Art, Paul
    I know some people who have realised the natural need to let feelings take the lead by themselves, with little promting, though most are lost.
    The brilliant Ivan Fraser of The Truth Campaign always used his feelings as a barometer as part of his investigations. Often everything made sense except...something just didn´t feel right. He followed his inner prompting and it always guided him correctly.
    Love. I once saw a therapist - very calm, unreactive, attentive, kind, a Buddhist - at the time he ticked all my boxes. He ticked everyones boxes. First session I broke down and cried. He seized up completely. Didn´t have a clue what to do.
    If I´d asked myself how I really felt when I first met him, now I´d say something just didn´t FEEL right. I can´t put words to it, neither can very young children, but they sense. Most of us lose that, and we´re then conditioned into never asking ourselves how we really feel. We ask everyone else, and follow the group consensus, but we rarely ask ourselves in a society in which the answers are all outside us.
    I´m very aware of the compulsion of many people to block your emotions at first sight. My neighbours shouted at me "Don´t cry!" etc as I wept after my dog Betty went missing and I was convinced she was dead. Another man cried the day his dog - who had been his loving friend for many years - died, and it was "He´s a very emotional man", like it was some some of aberration.
    I know of the sort of "enlightened", "trendy" parent you describe. She has read The continuum Concept and Summerhill and knows it all...sort of. Yet she is brittle, seething with anger, grabs her young ones and sternly lectures them, doesn´t touch them otherwise, carries her baby in a papoose but I sense no loving connection.
    My elderly father has been very loyal and kind to me over the last few years. We set up an email relationship and he came to see me with my mother last year after a 20 year estrangement. Underneath it all, he feels something for me. He always has, but he´s very inhibited. Years ago he started kissing me on the cheek when I had grown up and we´d not seen each other for some time. It took a lot of courage. Now he always signs his emails "love Dad". As a child I vaguely remember he used to put his arm round me sitting on our sofá. Yesterday I thought of all this and all I could think of was that I wanted him to put his arm round me now and I´d rest my head on his chest. Nothing else in the world mattered to me then. I cried, and cried. DADDY!!!!
    It´s so simple. A parent can speak a million words but they can never say what hugging and kissing a child says. Therapy is a reflection of that. The reason conventional therapists can´t get to the root of things is because they are unconscious of their own unmet need for parental love. Gary

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    1. PaulJuly 2, 2015 at 2:19 PM

      Hi Gary,
      -"I once saw a therapist - very calm, unreactive, attentive, kind, a Buddhist - at the time he ticked all my boxes. He ticked everyones boxes"-.

      Not all Buddhists are unfeeling but the enigmatic theories IN Buddhist teaching attract those who are confused about feelings and ideas (ideas about feeling. . ?) The Japanese (Zen) and the English (esthetic) have much in common, along with being stuck on overcrowded islands. It seems that Buddhism has become the feeling person's way to justify deeper REPRESSION (!)

      Regularly now I hear prominent people question the empathy in Buddhism (is there any?), or should I say in Western Buddhism. In other words, the deceit is out, it's not just your perceptions or mine. . .

      I don't know what to make of the Dalai Llama. . . He recently said when asked that he would like to be reincarnated as a blond woman (because they have more fun). . .

      Given the now political incorrectness of that supposedly humorous / self deprecating remark is it any wonder Buddhism is ever increasingly revered by the intellectuals and suspect in the eyes of the passionate?

      About your Dad, me too with mine, I will be devastated when he dies. . . I miss him as much as my Mum; I get needy feelings so strongly for both of them alternately. . .

      Paul G.

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    2. YannJuly 3, 2015 at 11:05 AM

      My dad died last february, I am 46 and I cry everyday since we learned a year ago that he was ill (cancer). I miss him so Much.

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    3. Arthur JanovJuly 3, 2015 at 2:49 PM

      Yann it is just the worst of feelings, such a great loss. I can imagine how much you miss him. Courage art

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    4. PaulJuly 4, 2015 at 3:05 AM

      Art, Yann & Gary,

      -"Luckily, I had parents who never cared for a moment"-.

      It requires a stretch to see how this could be luck. But, it does remind me of a growing awareness, consciousness even, of what pre war 'emotional life' was like for many people from Northern Europe & America.

      My Dad was the youngest of 4, born in 1929 to an incredibly successful, nouvea riche man who made a fortune in marketing. He had associations with the Satchis in London and some 20 children/ grandchildrens private eductation was funded off the back of this fortune. There were a lot of 'self made men' back then.
      I think my Dad was an accidental 'afterthought' being some 12 years younger than his other siblings. Consequently his parents (my grandparents) never had much expectation of him and much later I began to 'hear' my Dad explain that he could never remember once being hugged or kissed or getting a word of praise form his parents. Though I did hear he had a very loving 'nanny' who possibly even 'wet nursed' him. . . Will I ever find out the truth of that? ? ?

      This had tremendous significance for me because I remember being so desperate for attention from my Dad and at the same time repulsed by the excessively powerful, almost bone crushing hugs he could give, from time to time. I came to love & hate this 'act out' of his. I could sense there was a really feeling man behind his 'magnanimous & pompous' facade. . . He was trying so hard to make up for that 'lack of hugs and kisses' from his distant and remote parents.

      It's hard to see how you survived Art, or how that could be 'Luck' (?) But I kind of get it. I kind of see that both you and my Dad had little 'pressure' (expectation) put on you and so, somehow, you found some 'breathing space', some little bit of freedom to move where perhaps others carried this terrifying weight to 'perform'. . .

      That is what happened to me. Where my Dad (as a wartime adolescent) 'roamed free' in the Sussex countryside (up to 60 miles a day on his bike allegedly) investigating Luftwaffe & RAF crash sites and enjoying the (now lost) sustainable small holding agricultural idyll of England; on the contrary I was expected to SUCCEED where HE failed.

      My Dad never did any work at his posh boarding schools but expected me to succeed. He could be THE most demanding of slave masters: 9 O levels wasn't enough. I remember him stacking up the 'good reports' next to the 'bad reports' and berating me that I was not "Succeeding" enough. . .

      I rebelled, realising that the entire family 'Gestalt' had fallen apon me, (the youngest grandson of the Great and Successful Man). . . I wish I hadn't rebelled, but I was 'pushed', like a cork out from a champagne bottle. . . The pressure was just TOO great. . . To be honest, the pressure was so great I went into orbit for about 40 years and only now am I 're entering' and coming down to earth.

      This blog is my safety net.

      Paul G.

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    5. Arthur JanovJuly 4, 2015 at 9:48 PM

      Paul, it just means that there was nothing I could be for them to get love so I could be myself. Art

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    6. PaulJuly 5, 2015 at 1:43 AM

      Art,

      did you not find yourself seeking out Father / Mother substitutes? I did.

      Paul G.

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    7. Arthur JanovJuly 5, 2015 at 2:03 PM

      Paul: Yes I did. art

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    8. PaulJuly 6, 2015 at 12:43 AM

      Me too, I kind of realised I was doing it at the time. . . Looking back now I get insights about my assumptions. In them is the Pain of lack of satisfaction.

      When my ex dumped me (and her step son and grandson) so did her entire family and network of friends (17years). . . I had 'identified' with her parents as substitutes too. That is still incredibly painful because it has opened up a hole filled with neglect; a vacuum. It's why I got so ill after the split. When I see my daughter, she keeps telling me loving anecdotes about these 'inlaws' (who freeze me out and no longer communicate with me) and I smile and pretend nothing's wrong. . . I tell you, if these people had deliberately set out to destroy my faith in humanity and torture me they could not have done a better job of it. Anyway, something about being a professional carpenter allows me to say to myself: "Let it go over your head Paul, they know not what they are doing". . .

      If I dare mention any of this to any one in my peer group (what peer group?) they say: "What do you expect"?

      This behaviour is common and surely it's enough to put any one off breeding, it's just not worth it IF this is the outcome. Many middle class bachelors have said this to me. Perhaps birth control will finally come about due to so many people realising the long term benefits don't exist and getting into family matters are just too risky (for the kids mostly). This sounds incredibly cynical but social studies show that in many 'advanced' (ha ha) countries middle class people now have so much pressure on them they breed LESS than other 'sectors'. . .

      I do think the cultural assumptions of the middle classes in UK are totally unsustainable and I question whether Primal Theory is actually as acceptable/digestible to this group as your Patient List might show. I think the only reason why middle class people predominate as patients (IF this is true, I don't know, I presume) is because they're the ones with enough money to pay for it.

      I suspect (as with children) Primal would be MORE acceptable to working class people IF money, accessibility & information did not EXCLUDE this demographic.

      NO, I'm not saying that working class people are like children, or childlike; what I am saying (from personal experience) is that working class people have LESS layers of defense, less cultural assumptions and less false icons to maintain in the face of their own Pain. This is actually my experience and Primal has yet to write it's POSTS for that demographic. Currently it seems to be aimed at middle class people. . .

      I hope this message does not get misinterpreted. You see, I have a foot in each court. . . . .

      Paul G

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    9. AnonymousJuly 6, 2015 at 2:26 AM

      Yann
      My heart goes out to you brother. I´d like to hear some more about this if you feel it would help
      Love Gary

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    10. Arthur JanovJuly 6, 2015 at 11:58 AM

      Paul: We leave room to help the poor and our foundation does supplement the cost of those who cannot afford it. art

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    11. PaulJuly 6, 2015 at 11:56 PM

      Hi Art,
      my post was not about money nor the lack of access to the Center per se. . . Nor was it a gripe about 'charity' or the lack of it.

      I imagine the Center must be running close to capacity anyway. . .

      I'm sorry to talk history but the original purpose of the formation of the middle classes & education / science was altruistic/evolutionary. It has now become a force all unto itself. I will not bother extrapolating on that.

      My concern is to find ways to bring Primal to the masses. Currently one needs to understand the language of the middle classes to see the need for Primal; but only if you're middle class, that is, ie: educated and studied. Thus it seems to me that yet again good science is ONLY serving those who understand the language of it. . .

      What purpose does science and technology serve if it remains only in the domain of the minority?

      I'm NOT having a go at you Art. I'm sure you have thoughts like this too; how could you not? How could we re write your books to make them more accessible to children and LESS educated souls? Perhaps a group of patients might actually write a series of picture books with captions to disseminate this so so compelling truth about gestation, birth, infancy, life and evolution.

      I'm not waiting for your answers to make a start either.

      Paul G.

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    12. Arthur JanovJuly 9, 2015 at 1:32 AM

      Paul: Good idea, the more the better. art

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    13. SheriJuly 9, 2015 at 10:58 AM

      Hello Paul. Sounds like a good idea to bring knowledge to the "masses". I miss Mr. Rogers TV program where he told children it was okay to have feelings; to be sad or afraid. I think public media, TV or radio can get messages "out there". I know Art has done radio podcasts and the videos on this site spread the word. In the 70's I heard a primal therapist on the radio and I knew he had something. In general I think there might already exist an acceptance of feelings as a gateway to health. Many of the articles I've read of people trying to regain their health include their acknowledgement of past hurts and crying and reliving those pains because it's realized that repressed hurts are making them sick.
      Sounds like a good idea Paul, to let this growing generation know the importance of feelings.

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    14. AnonymousJuly 10, 2015 at 3:12 AM

      Hi Paul
      Good ideas. Spreading the word to a mass audience needs to be in ways people are receptive to. Advertisers might be good people to talk to about this; they know all the secrets.
      Art´s books (and I´ve read the first 8 or 9) are very good but you need (1) a good level of education and (2) plenty of patience and a decent attention span to digest them. So that excudes a lot of people from the start, especially as microwave comms (mobiles, masts, WiFi, other wireless ie microwave devices) are messing up peoples brains nowadays.
      Humanity is being deliberately brutalised by microwaves, vaccinations, water fluoridation, chemtrails, free dehumaning & violent internet porn for masses of our youth, poor diet and drugs, legal and illegal. You have to take all these things into account. There is so much dumbing down everywhere now (I´m fighting on these fronts by offering to send out articles to whoever wants them). However easy to understand you try to make primal, there are so many people now who just won´t ever get it.
      I like your idea of primal patients making vídeos or books with pictures describing their experiences, and putting the truth out in ways more digestible to those with difficulty in reading Art´s books. However, this is´t without its pitfalls. Hundreds of copycat primal centres have been set up over the last decades since The Primal Scream exploded onto the world scene in 1970, and by and large they have made a mess of the therapy, even damaging patients. This needs to be borne in mind. It would be brilliant if you could just tell people about this amazing therapy and people would know where to go and what to do, but unless the people putting out the primal message are fully aware of the many dangers of putting out the primal message to a mass audience, we could have the 1970s all over again, with everyone thinking they know what to do to heal themselves and other people. Gary

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    15. PaulJuly 10, 2015 at 1:26 PM

      Hi Sheri,

      Yes, there is a 'new' acceptance of feelings. Like the air we breath and the food we eat it is a perennial and also eternal feature of life for us mammals. Somehow culturally, feelings go in & out of fashion with differing 'colours'.

      Who will fly the flag of feeling this time?

      I know this sounds nuts but I watched a movie with my disabled son the other day; a science fiction about a post apocalyptic world where some pilot has to leave earth (& his family) to go find another planet for the species to establish new colonies on. I can't remember the name of the film but that doesn't matter. What struck me more than anything was the number of scenes of men breaking down & crying. Amazing.
      The film is flawed and plagiarises 2001 A space Oddessy but that's beside the point. Men breaking down & crying in real life OR films is still so rare. . . or is it?

      Paul G.

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  4. KatherinaninaJuly 1, 2015 at 9:02 AM

    The memory/knowledge of love/truth within us cannot be erased or replaced with anything else. That is why feeling our need for love in all it's human forms, brings us back to the awareness of love. A cry for help is always a call for love, and an honest call ( feeling ones deep need ) is always answered by love. Pain is the need for love, wanting to be felt. When the need is felt, then love can answer, and love always appears when it's no longer being replaced by a false image of itself. I still have unexpressed painful needs. This blog is a reminder that love is always there waiting to embrace me, even if the love was missing back then. I just want to cry....for all the times I pushed my mothers love away, because I could never feel my need for her back then.......I love you mamma.

    Dear Art , thank you always for all the love that is waiting to be felt! Katherina

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  5. PaulJuly 1, 2015 at 11:30 AM

    Art,
    -"I can’t believe this kind of thinking still exists but psychologic science seems to be in process of dumbing down, reflecting the zeitgeist"-.

    Why? What is this bloody zeitgeist? Come on, we've done intellectual bashing, denial bashing, cruelty bashing, we've knocked every fallacy to the point of nausea. We've even done bashing bashing. What next?

    I think your yet to be published book 'Beyond Belief' IS the very thing I am driving at, that which answers my question. . .

    When is it out?

    Paul G.

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    1. Arthur JanovJuly 2, 2015 at 12:45 PM

      Paul: "Beyond Belief" should be out in November or December. art

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  6. beachcoast7July 1, 2015 at 1:07 PM

    Ignorance, the ignorance of parents is frightening. Parenting is a job, can be an easy job and can be a job that a parent loves. When a parent doesn't pay any attention to their child, it is not a good situation at all, to say the least. The repercussion that the child endures, suffers, are just as bad as if he were physically abused habitually for no reason. When the parent shows to interest or gives the child no love, he or she, just creates and compounds problems for the child. Why, why a parent is so ignorant to love for their own child, I will never know. They actually think it is good for the child to go through life being unloved by their parents. Life doesn't dish out love easily in this world and not to have love from a parent is horrifying and frightening to me. There should be schools out for parents as to how to show love towards their children. Possibly also, there should be schools out there for children who come from unloving parents to teach the child how to survive such a selfish-ignorant type of parenting where there is absolutely no love. It is the child who suffers. This should be addressed by someone who has power; the subject of total lack of caring in parents towards their very own children. It is very sad for the child. Sure he or she (child) may be able to "brush things off" but who knows? No one does, once a child's mind is so played with. I may not be the smartest person around, but I do know many times ignorance in parenting, and many times I do know total lack of caring and just plain laziness in parents. .

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  7. vukoJuly 2, 2015 at 10:02 AM

    in other words: you can't spoil a child by providing her what she needs but only by providing her the unfulfilling substitutes that she eventually get addicted to.
    one more logical explanation from primal theory. brilliant.

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    1. FrankJuly 6, 2015 at 2:36 AM

      Hello vuko!

      Does it matter what... "you can't spoil a child by providing her what she needs but only by providing her the unfulfilling substitutes that she eventually get addicted to" if we only has the below to follow?

      How do we force someone to answer who can only hide in the closet when the time is right?

      The big issue is that we do not feel or understand what children need more than there is a great risk that we will spoil them by giving to much of love. Love is a threat to the effectiveness of the community... that's what we learn... not through words but well of demands from society. Anything to improve the efficiency of society and compulsory education is on the agenda as a threat to us parents... it for us to leave our children to learn for future rationalization for what production and consumption continue suffocate feelings. Not to forget love counts of efficiency to day.

      But how loving are we as parents without this coercion? Right! The community is of how unloving we are... we vote on it! Obviously... by political choices majority is right. That is why a legal process is needed... who do not allways question what the majority wants ... it to reach out on a large scale... we are in many cases believers of justice.

      Otherwise... how we twist and turn to the question... butt's in the back! The big mass makes the revolution!
      Do we want to wait to get the loving parents of growing children for what we believe will happen more than there is opportunities...then we are waiting for hell to smash loose!

      Frank

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    2. PaulJuly 9, 2015 at 2:19 PM

      Frank, it's not a legal process we're after but an ethical perspective PLANTED in the knowledge of Primal. All your legal stuff will come out of that. Ethics first, Law second, Orite?

      Paul G.

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    3. FrankJuly 10, 2015 at 3:22 AM

      Hello Paul

      Our knowledge of Primal is not theirs... law must build ethics... give us the right to feel... the technical possibility lies in what and how we think!

      Ethics is impossible to alter without feelings for what ethics contains! We are talking ethics becuse it does not exists! We must begin were we are thinking!

      Your Frank

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    4. AnonymousJuly 10, 2015 at 4:59 AM

      Art; My elder sister is the bete noire of our family. She as the unwanted child who my parents implicitly blamed for them having to marry. Though she was terribly bullied by my Dad and scorned and neglected by my Mum, no pressure was ever put on her to achieve anything. No nterest taken in her. She was writtenoff from the start. Like you, nothing she did could ever please my parents. Then I came along and then my brother. For my parents sake the subtle expectation was always there that e would be high achievers. That has really fucked up my life. My sister lives her days in coffee shops, an aimless existence, unable to function properly due to massive early pains, but unlike me, she doesn´t feel like a failure, or guilty for not being a high achiever, or doing something useful with her life. Gary.

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  8. Arthur JanovJuly 2, 2015 at 12:46 PM

    An email comment:
    "Art thanks for writing...

    I think its pretty clear that its complicated because the mind makes it so.

    And its also true, that there is no ego gratification in doing something easy.

    You had a terrible childhood, Art, you must have been a very lonely child. Thank God you had a dog, or things might have been much different for you."

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  9. Richard AtkinJuly 6, 2015 at 12:34 AM

    Art, when my young nephew fell and grazed his knee, he let out a scream so powerful and so long it would rival anything you have ever heard from your patients. I just stood there and watched him because I knew he needed to scream. The idea of rushing in and hugging him would have been like choking him off at the worst possible moment -- I would never have done that - but that's exactly what his mother did and she told him his injury was nothing. He stopped screaming and then blamed me for his injury - a bizarre intellectual concoction. We were playing soccer and his fall was no fault of mine, but I let him blame me because I didn't want to aggravate him.
    His scream was a deafening torrent of noise... I didn't think a human could produce a noise like that... like a non-stop jet engine. I was astounded. His mum chuckled at me and said "Fuck that was a scream!" I reminded her about his birth trauma; several days of being trapped, drugged, and failed attempt at being pulled out with forceps which left him with an extreme cone-shaped head, and as a young child he had trouble with physical coordination and balance compared to other kids his age, hence his falling and grazing his knee.
    Of course his mother got angry and flatly denied the possibility that her son had experienced any kind of significant birth trauma. I explained Primal Theory to him somewhere around that time - he was about seven years old. I explained to him that his birth trauma could be a part of the reason why he felt like he was truly suffocating when he watched his father getting beaten with a baseball bat. And his constant nightmares involving tidal waves etc. I told him the Primal Center helps people to feel the thing that is causing all those nightmares. To feel it until it doesn't need to be felt anymore. And then life becomes much happier after that.
    He believed me for years but eventually his peers became the main influence -- I doubt he will ever do it now.

    ReplyDelete
  10. FrankJuly 6, 2015 at 3:30 AM

    There may be two that are thousands if no one dare open his mouth!

    If there are only two that discuss the question of the reality of love... then it will stay in the room for what the two reaches.

    An open door to a threatening content is still closed for those who fear it!

    Are we mature the task for what need leads to love... or do we fear what others do not experience of it?

    Frank

    ReplyDelete
  11. FrankJuly 6, 2015 at 3:53 AM

    Hello Art!

    My daughter who is now 19 years old ask me for help to come to your center. She are eager to get help with what she knows she is suffering from! Hon har återvänt till mig efter att ha levt under stror press från sin mamma och sambo under många år.
    I have financial problems! Are there any opportunities for us to get help?

    your Frank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Arthur JanovJuly 6, 2015 at 11:54 AM

      Frank: I do not understand your writing. You can write to the office for help with your request. art

      Delete
    2. FrankJuly 7, 2015 at 2:38 AM

      Art!

      Sorry... my head are doing translations that are not made in to my physical handling!

      My daughter who is now 19 years old ask me for help to come to your center. She are eager to get help with what she knows she is suffering from! She has returned to me after living in a terrible pressure from her mother and partner for many years.
      A crucial reason for why I los lost custody was because I had a primal box in my home as the social authorities got to be something abnormal at trial! Something to know for what we should take into account in cases of what one chooses to support against our efforts to achieve success at institutions as are controlled at the individual level and not looking for appear in public. If there are many listeners to what the primal therapy contains it will be difficult for them to surpass what they them self do not understand in front of others... if primalterapin is presented in a sophisticated arrangement one can not deny it!

      Your Frank

      Delete
  12. AnonymousJuly 7, 2015 at 4:49 AM

    Dear All

    Sorry this is OT but if you´ll bear with me, many might find it relevant to their own psychophysiological healing.

    I´m a health/psychology and NWO researcher and as a prelude to setting up my own website, will be sending out, in the next few weeks, a number of articles written by eminent researchers, or by myself, over the last 20 years or so. The articles will be selected according to their importance to people, animals and to the planet. The information they contain is heavily censored by mainstream news channels everywhere. Topics to be covered include water fluoridation, vaccinations, chemtrails, natural diet, the environmental, human and animal cost of grain, dairy and meat consumption, factory farming, and others.

    If you would like an article on a specific topic I´ve not mentioned, you can make a request.

    My email is bettybabes@live.com.

    BW, Gary

    ReplyDelete
  13. planespotterJuly 7, 2015 at 10:56 AM

    I think the whole issue of not praising otherwise you will spoil the child is still around. Both my Parents spent most of thier lives looking for praise from me while using very subtle put downs should myself or my sister ever show any atempt to stand up for ourselves and our views.

    ReplyDelete
  14. PaulJuly 7, 2015 at 11:08 PM

    planespotter,

    it's the classic right wing view though isn't it? My parents were like it too, interspersed with bouts of 'kindness'. The combination being very confusing. Mind you, for the 'giver' (of both grief & kindness) its a 'win / win' situation isn't it? They get the 'pleasure' of setting you up and then the 'pleasure' of putting you down.

    It's the neo cortex that allows humans to be so 'perverse'. . . that 3rd layer of complexity.
    Perverse is perhaps a better description of the behaviour usually ascribed to the word 'cruel'.

    Paul G.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Richard AtkinJuly 8, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    off topic:



    BEAUTY
    .
    1. The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).


    When my friend decided to stop taking his anesthetising medication, he said that there were many things that suddenly looked beautiful to him; even the lights on his stereo looked beautiful.

    What is beauty and why do we sense it? The sense of beauty is much like all of our other senses in that it guides us towards survival. Beautiful things tend to be supportive of life. Young children are attracted to beautifully drawn cartoons with smooth round shapes and edges, consistent proportions and unblemished colours (Walt Disney cartoons, Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, for example). These cartoons appeal to our desire for genetic uniformity. A beautiful house or boat will show 'genetic' uniformity when all of its shapes blend somewhat seamlessly into an overall functional structure. A tree with clean, colourful fruit, a lake without the green slime, skin without scabs and bruises -- all of these things look beautiful because they signify an opportunity for survival.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SheriJuly 9, 2015 at 11:07 AM

      So true, Richard. And about Disney, I recall loving my Snow White coloring book as a little girl.

      Delete
    2. Richard AtkinJuly 20, 2015 at 1:11 AM

      Sheri, did you know that Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are the most popular fairy tales of all time for young girls? They both involve young girls who are attacked by a mother figure and become stuck in a state of unconsciousness until a loving man brings them back to life. My cousin always dreams of meeting a guy who will bring her back to life.
      Interestingly, the original story of Sleeping Beauty was unpopular until writers adapted the plot to make it more like Snow White. In the original story, a king was travelling alone, found Sleeping Beauty just lying there, raped her while she was unconscious and then left her. She gave birth to two babies while she was still unconscious, one of them sucked on her lifeless fingers instead of her nipples, and sucked the poisonous thorn from her finger, and in doing so brought her back to life. The king had no choice but to marry her, and help to take care of the two kids. They all lived happily ever after.

      Delete
    3. PaulJuly 21, 2015 at 12:25 AM

      Hi Richard,

      It has often been said that it is the experience of gestation and birth which finally brings a woman to adulthood. Many women completely change, both physiologically and psychologically with their first or second child.

      I wonder if there have been any genuine scientific studies on this subject.

      Paul G.

      Delete
    4. Richard AtkinJuly 22, 2015 at 6:04 PM

      Paul, proud parents always say things like that. My father told me "A man is not a complete man until he has children."

      Delete
  16. AnonymousJuly 10, 2015 at 2:43 AM

    Dear All

    I just saw that I wrote my own email address incorrectly in the post publicising the articles I´m compiling to send out to whoever wants them. It should read:

    bettybabes@live.com.pt

    gary

    ReplyDelete
  17. WaltJuly 11, 2015 at 12:12 PM

    I remember when I was a small child my mother watched me wander off towards a pond that I was fascinated with looking at. She was with some other adults and though it would be considered neglect today and probably was, I was happy to have her let me have my adventure.
    Somewhere in my memory was the fact that she also wanted me to be unafraid to interact with the big scary world and I sensed that. I spent a lot of time playing in the woods in the town I grew up in which from what I read today, parents aren't likely to do.
    Perhaps only because social convention tells them its not OK. Too many lurking monsters out there. The only monsters I ran into ( think the movie Stand By Me ) were some older teen kids we called "greasers," who threatened us saying they were going to set us on fire with gasoline.
    Just bullies but fortunately not psychopaths. We survived and most kids today never will experience the freedoms I and many others had in the 1950's in America. Many might disagree.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jean HJuly 11, 2015 at 12:29 PM

    If you were never loved as a child then you are unable to truly feel loved or to love. If I had never gone to Primal therapy I don't believe I would have ever had the capacity to love. Even after many many years of Primal therapy I have struggled with loving and feeling loved. I was never loved or wanted by my parents. My father wanted my mother to abort me and my mother was pretty crazy and incapacitated. Neither parent loved me or wanted me.
    But, I was fortunate and lucky to find Page, my soul mate, and to love him and be loved by him. He is dead now--- and I feel like I am back there in the past, an unwanted and unloved child. I do think of how lucky I am to have had a loving and generous man in my life for 38 years. But often I feel like I don't know how I can go on without him and that life is no longer worth living.
    There is no loving in the present without feeling how unloved you were in the past.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Arthur JanovJuly 23, 2015 at 2:49 AM

    An email comment: (Part 1)
    "To be honest, in my case it all went alike. Neither my mother nor my father ever asked me (cared for) what my wishes where. Oh, I had a talent of course, painting namely. But my father's approach to rearing one's lineage didn't include any kind of straight support and tenderness. It just had gone missing, like to any any of those sons and daughters of rigour (who's not one of them?). He was never really taken into account by his father. Not only that. He was straightly knocked out the day he censored his son's own dreams of becoming a sailor, oh my goodness the paradigm of freedom. On my grandfather's dying bed my father took the oath to run the family's boring business after his elder brother's failed attempt to take on that responsibility (which btw helped them live longer) That day my pa signed on his future death certificate. That was the start up date for his cellular psycho, cancer as you wisely said, to jump in. And I was not even born. He'd just postponed that fatality until my younger brother attained legal age.
    I never witnessed a happy father unless some of his pals and surely their ever idolizing wives were around. Drinking and smoking turned him for some hours into the most charming living host on earth. It put me down the minute he started acting like a puppet of himself. I (nor my mother and little brother) never really went noticed. Ans still, deep inside he loved us -so did we-, but he simply had not learnt to show it. When they all had gone home there was of course the backlash floating around, not the violent version but the air at home became filled of resentment and of his silence above all. He wanted to be left alone drowning in his own depressing childhood memories of unfelt love.
    "

    ReplyDelete
  20. Arthur JanovJuly 23, 2015 at 2:49 AM

    (Part 2)
    "
    One day, back in 1993, I met an old lady who stated she was able to help others primaling. She suggested me the reading of your first book which I promptly did. I followed a series of "leaky sessions" for some years. Some of them reached plain hard core, you know the rough (screaming) way, but the rest of them there was mostly sobbing and moaning, silent tears of awareness, though never primeline grunting. Nevertheless I lost, so to speak, several of my so called friends. It hurt me but as I realized it all was part of the restoring process I kind of liked it. Connecting with the feeling mode was a much rewarding side of life. I must say I learned to be assertive towards those my living had been depending on...But one day It was over. It was the day I decided I wasn't going anywhere, only slowly sinking into a seemingly bottomless pit of sorrow. I said to myself there had to be an end to that nightmare uncoding or else I was not following appropiately the steps of her...therapy. I was 28 and considered my life's course being at a crossroad. I then thought I had had enough of that russian-american called Janov whom I had even never met, only to realize later on that my life would never be the same again. Once the feeling wounds are detected as open wide scars the only excruciatingly valid purpose in life becomes it of helping those scars cicatrize to stop the inconscious hurting from destroying from within, and of course helping detecting others' wounds, at their willingness of course.
    But how does one effectively show the will to put and end to the suffering, that is, the exhausting runaway from truth. I could state there's as for me no other goal in life to achieve but to help others find their way through their nightmares. But I won't, because deep inside we all are. The flaming Love is within. I guess now freeing the gates of pain is 'un but en soi même". I'd never promise anyone his/her life as a human being on earth would finally be smooth as oil on a plate nor the thrilling star wars episode they had been waiting for, after taking seriously into account one's feelings. At least so I've learnt. Thank You Art for having been there. I assume you're not looking for personal recognition, but you'll always be remembered as a good warrior.    "

    ReplyDelete

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Review of "Beyond Belief"

This thought-provoking and important book shows how people are drawn toward dangerous beliefs.
“Belief can manifest itself in world-changing ways—and did, in some of history’s ugliest moments, from the rise of Adolf Hitler to the Jonestown mass suicide in 1979. Arthur Janov, a renowned psychologist who penned The Primal Scream, fearlessly tackles the subject of why and how strong believers willingly embrace even the most deranged leaders.
Beyond Belief begins with a lucid explanation of belief systems that, writes Janov, “are maps, something to help us navigate through life more effectively.” While belief systems are not presented as inherently bad, the author concentrates not just on why people adopt belief systems, but why “alienated individuals” in particular seek out “belief systems on the fringes.” The result is a book that is both illuminating and sobering. It explores, for example, how a strongly-held belief can lead radical Islamist jihadists to murder others in suicide acts. Janov writes, “I believe if people had more love in this life, they would not be so anxious to end it in favor of some imaginary existence.”
One of the most compelling aspects of Beyond Belief is the author’s liberal use of case studies, most of which are related in the first person by individuals whose lives were dramatically affected by their involvement in cults. These stories offer an exceptional perspective on the manner in which belief systems can take hold and shape one’s experiences. Joan’s tale, for instance, both engaging and disturbing, describes what it was like to join the Hare Krishnas. Even though she left the sect, observing that participants “are stunted in spiritual awareness,” Joan considers returning someday because “there’s a certain protection there.”
Janov’s great insight into cultish leaders is particularly interesting; he believes such people have had childhoods in which they were “rejected and unloved,” because “only unloved people want to become the wise man or woman (although it is usually male) imparting words of wisdom to others.” This is just one reason why Beyond Belief is such a thought-provoking, important book.”
Barry Silverstein, Freelance Writer

Quotes for "Life Before Birth"

“Life Before Birth is a thrilling journey of discovery, a real joy to read. Janov writes like no one else on the human mind—engaging, brilliant, passionate, and honest.
He is the best writer today on what makes us human—he shows us how the mind works, how it goes wrong, and how to put it right . . . He presents a brand-new approach to dealing with depression, emotional pain, anxiety, and addiction.”
Paul Thompson, PhD, Professor of Neurology, UCLA School of Medicine

Art Janov, one of the pioneers of fetal and early infant experiences and future mental health issues, offers a robust vision of how the earliest traumas of life can percolate through the brains, minds and lives of individuals. He focuses on both the shifting tides of brain emotional systems and the life-long consequences that can result, as well as the novel interventions, and clinical understanding, that need to be implemented in order to bring about the brain-mind changes that can restore affective equanimity. The transitions from feelings of persistent affective turmoil to psychological wholeness, requires both an understanding of the brain changes and a therapist that can work with the affective mind at primary-process levels. Life Before Birth, is a manifesto that provides a robust argument for increasing attention to the neuro-mental lives of fetuses and infants, and the widespread ramifications on mental health if we do not. Without an accurate developmental history of troubled minds, coordinated with a recognition of the primal emotional powers of the lowest ancestral regions of the human brain, therapists will be lost in their attempt to restore psychological balance.
Jaak Panksepp, Ph.D.
Bailey Endowed Chair of Animal Well Being Science
Washington State University

Dr. Janov’s essential insight—that our earliest experiences strongly influence later well being—is no longer in doubt. Thanks to advances in neuroscience, immunology, and epigenetics, we can now see some of the mechanisms of action at the heart of these developmental processes. His long-held belief that the brain, human development, and psychological well being need to studied in the context of evolution—from the brainstem up—now lies at the heart of the integration of neuroscience and psychotherapy.
Grounded in these two principles, Dr. Janov continues to explore the lifelong impact of prenatal, birth, and early experiences on our brains and minds. Simultaneously “old school” and revolutionary, he synthesizes traditional psychodynamic theories with cutting-edge science while consistently highlighting the limitations of a strict, “top-down” talking cure. Whether or not you agree with his philosophical assumptions, therapeutic practices, or theoretical conclusions, I promise you an interesting and thought-provoking journey.
Lou Cozolino, PsyD, Professor of Psychology, Pepperdine University


In Life Before Birth Dr. Arthur Janov illuminates the sources of much that happens during life after birth. Lucidly, the pioneer of primal therapy provides the scientific rationale for treatments that take us through our original, non-verbal memories—to essential depths of experience that the superficial cognitive-behavioral modalities currently in fashion cannot possibly touch, let alone transform.
Gabor Maté MD, author of In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction

An expansive analysis! This book attempts to explain the impact of critical developmental windows in the past, implores us to improve the lives of pregnant women in the present, and has implications for understanding our children, ourselves, and our collective future. I’m not sure whether primal therapy works or not, but it certainly deserves systematic testing in well-designed, assessor-blinded, randomized controlled clinical trials.
K.J.S. Anand, MBBS, D. Phil, FAACP, FCCM, FRCPCH, Professor of Pediatrics, Anesthesiology, Anatomy & Neurobiology, Senior Scholar, Center for Excellence in Faith and Health, Methodist Le Bonheur Healthcare System


A baby's brain grows more while in the womb than at any time in a child's life. Life Before Birth: The Hidden Script That Rules Our Lives is a valuable guide to creating healthier babies and offers insight into healing our early primal wounds. Dr. Janov integrates the most recent scientific research about prenatal development with the psychobiological reality that these early experiences do cast a long shadow over our entire lifespan. With a wealth of experience and a history of successful psychotherapeutic treatment, Dr. Janov is well positioned to speak with clarity and precision on a topic that remains critically important.
Paula Thomson, PsyD, Associate Professor, California State University, Northridge & Professor Emeritus, York University

"I am enthralled.
Dr. Janov has crafted a compelling and prophetic opus that could rightly dictate
PhD thesis topics for decades to come. Devoid of any "New Age" pseudoscience,
this work never strays from scientific orthodoxy and yet is perfectly accessible and
downright fascinating to any lay person interested in the mysteries of the human psyche."
Dr. Bernard Park, MD, MPH

His new book “Life Before Birth: The Hidden Script that Rules Our Lives” shows that primal therapy, the lower-brain therapeutic method popularized in the 1970’s international bestseller “Primal Scream” and his early work with John Lennon, may help alleviate depression and anxiety disorders, normalize blood pressure and serotonin levels, and improve the functioning of the immune system.
One of the book’s most intriguing theories is that fetal imprinting, an evolutionary strategy to prepare children to cope with life, establishes a permanent set-point in a child's physiology. Baby's born to mothers highly anxious during pregnancy, whether from war, natural disasters, failed marriages, or other stressful life conditions, may thus be prone to mental illness and brain dysfunction later in life. Early traumatic events such as low oxygen at birth, painkillers and antidepressants administered to the mother during pregnancy, poor maternal nutrition, and a lack of parental affection in the first years of life may compound the effect.
In making the case for a brand-new, unified field theory of psychotherapy, Dr. Janov weaves together the evolutionary theories of Jean Baptiste Larmarck, the fetal development studies of Vivette Glover and K.J.S. Anand, and fascinating new research by the psychiatrist Elissa Epel suggesting that telomeres—a region of repetitive DNA critical in predicting life expectancy—may be significantly altered during pregnancy.
After explaining how hormonal and neurologic processes in the womb provide a blueprint for later mental illness and disease, Dr. Janov charts a revolutionary new course for psychotherapy. He provides a sharp critique of cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoanalysis, and other popular “talk therapy” models for treating addiction and mental illness, which he argues do not reach the limbic system and brainstem, where the effects of early trauma are registered in the nervous system.
“Life Before Birth: The Hidden Script that Rules Our Lives” is scheduled to be published by NTI Upstream in October 2011, and has tremendous implications for the future of modern psychology, pediatrics, pregnancy, and women’s health.
Editor