Sunday, October 2, 2011

On Hijacking Sex - Part 2



I have written about hijacking before. When there is sexual excitement the lower brain levels are activated along with whatever strong imprints live there. The strong stimulation resonates with the early imprint and reactivates it. It now joins the sex act and forces the run-off of sex via the imprint. It merges seamlessly with the sex act, the build-up and final release so that the person can no longer tell which is which. In the same way that some emotional stimulus in the present activates deep brain structures, and again there is the run-off of sex through the imprint.

Example: a man had a depressed mother who never smiled nor showed any joy. He needed some show of recognition, some bit of joy to see him, some piece of emotion that meant he was important to her. What stimulated him in sex was staring at pictures of nude women showing joy at the sight of their nude man. Here was the merger of primal need and sex. The only way he could discharge the tension was through the ritual that fulfilled his need symbolically. Sexual discharge relieved the tension of his need. Otherwise how could he get relief? The only way was to feel the need exactly for what it was, relive the pain and discharge the feeling in a real way…. A primal.

Another man, and I should say, men, because it is so frequent, had to dress up in women’s clothes and masturbate; or have his girlfriend dress up in a bra and panties and masturbate him. Why? His mother was left by his father when he was five years old. She left for work every day, but left her clothes on the chair in the bedroom. He started out rubbing her clothes all over his body; a way to feel close to her. Later, as he became sexual he would either dress up in women’s clothes, or use them to masturbate with and find relief through sexual discharge. Again the merger of need and sex. Relief through a symbolic channel. Sex looks real but for the neurotic it becomes symbolic channel for relief. As excitement in sex builds so does the need for symbolic channels. And the very early imprint is so strong that it drives the obsession. It becomes compulsive; he can’t stop, not because he is so sexual but because he is so needy and needs to relieve himself through sex.

So when a therapist tries to treat sexual compulsion as a sex problem she may be way off; treating the wrong thing; treating the symbolic outlet instead of the need.

When a young girl is shushed a lot and quelled from showing great enthusiasm it affects sex because her sexual expression is also suppressed. As her enthusiasm in sex builds so does the repression; the result is abortive sex, lack of climax, and frustration. In short, sex is an expression of all of ourselves, not just the sex organ. It is at the core of our being. And altering sex life and sexual neurosis means that a lot of later pain has to be relived before we can significantly affect sex. Check out your own fantasies and rituals and see how it tells you what needs were fulfilled early in your life.

6 comments:

  1. Hi,

    -"When a young girl is shushed a lot and quelled from showing great enthusiasm it affects sex because her sexual expression is also suppressed. As her enthusiasm in sex builds so does the repression; the result is abortive sex, lack of climax, and frustration"-.

    Is not this condition likely driven by terror in the 1st line imprint? Perhaps the fear of being consumed, of suffocation and perhaps invasion? All pre-verbal.

    In earlier posts Art discussed different states of consciousness and love is surely one of them.

    From having been passionately in love (with another) and given and received love and care in the past I feel that neurosis in myself and in the other was temporarily removed. I say temporarily because from what I have learned from Arts' science is that there is no 'loving' way around the imprints we receive. No amount of love and attention will normalise early trauma and/or neglect. Specialist therapy will.

    Though temporarily ones' condition may seem to evaporate through being in love. This sadly means that intimate relationships for us neurotics are so often only a temporary act out. The love will not last without access to the imprint, without re-living the terror.

    This is a bitter pill to swallow when the love disappears to be replaced by antipathy and separation.

    Of even greater concern is the tragedy of the one party (who initiates the split) who may never discover that what was wrong was not the relationship but the individuals' own neurosis, both of them.

    From what I am learning I feel broken marriages are often as much to do with ignorance about the imprints and the true source of neurosis as they are about actual incompatibility. More-over there are personality attractions and repulsions, it is possible to find some-one more suitable, some-one whos' personality is more compatible to your own but what depth of love is possible when personal inclinations are the compass for finding a good relationship?

    I don't completely trust the idea of compatibility because in the end it is the two individuals who find out the 1st and 2nd line facts and not by the divinations of a 3rd line ideal (such as a dating agency).

    On that note, how about a Primal Dating Agency!

    Paul G.

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  2. in the western world it is culturally acceptable for a man to hug and kiss a well-acquainted woman on the cheek during a greeting, but usually it would be considered too sexual for two men to greet each other that way. what started this bias? is it the result of a mutual agreement between the sexes, to promiscuously fornicate under the veil of acceptable tradition? or is it the woman's insistence on hugging and kissing which forces men to be less possessive? or maybe this cultural phenomenon came from the neurotic male's desire to parade his trophy; "sure, you can squeeze her, feel her face against your lips....but don't go any further than that.....she's mine."
    in facebook you can see many girls rubbing their bodies together in a joking manner - laughing for the camera. do they feel the softness of each other's legs and breasts? it seems like they don't. young guys and girls press their faces together when they take a photo. it wasn't like that in the eighties. is the world improving? are we becoming more physically intimate? more loving?
    if you look at porn from the seventies and eighties, you will notice that they included affectionate scenes, whereas today's porn is focused primarily on 'the animal'.
    i don't know where the world is going. maybe nothing is changing. girls are growing bigger breasts (fact). i thought this might be a sign of improvement; more love means better hormonal development....but now scientists are saying the increase in breast growth is caused by steroids in meat.
    hey art, i dare you to give your opinion:
    is the world getting better?

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  3. Paul: Not a bad Idea. I can't tell you how many people have met, fell in love and married, in our center. Feeling people usually want to be with other feeling people. However, we are not a dating agency. art

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  4. Richard: BETTER AND WORSE, but that is a long story. Science and medicine have leap ahead in the most spectacular way and that is wonderful. But half the population is on some kind of tranquilizer or pain killer. It depends on how you slice society. art

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  5. Hi Art & All,

    I'm really glad you said that because I was (yet again) beginning to feel guilty for having feelings! Your words have brought me to mine. Thanks.

    Actually I contest your statement that the Clinic is not a dating agency. . .

    Are we not making an appointment with ourselves? A Date to be with who we really are.

    That's why I'm coming anyway.

    Paul G.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Paul G:The most interesting date you will ever have is with yourself, you new self, the one you discover who is the best conversationalist ever. art

    ReplyDelete

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Bailey Endowed Chair of Animal Well Being Science
Washington State University

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Editor