tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post8999867549144466016..comments2024-02-11T18:16:53.445-08:00Comments on Janov's Reflections on the Human Condition: The Simple Truth is Revolutionary: On the Right and Left Brain. There Is No Cure Without Their Unity. (Part 3/10)Arthur Janovhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16709863014923629409noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-42905227431099842932014-07-12T09:50:40.907-07:002014-07-12T09:50:40.907-07:00Hello Dr. Janov!
I have been reading through your ...Hello Dr. Janov!<br />I have been reading through your blog it has been a few days. I am SO happy I did. I love your approach, perspective, and explanation to how things happen. I admire your writtings & work so much. You deserve more than a nobel prize for your discovering.<br /><br />I am also sorry for what you have been through, it is tough, but happy you made it!<br /><br />I'd like to share that I currently have major depression, it has been 7 months.<br />I'll be honest with you, I wish I could stop CBT therapy & reach out for Primeal but I live in the middle east. I know, however, that I will travel some day & when I will I will make sure to get to your center and take therapy. I will also be buying your book (primal scream) soon.<br /><br />I'd like to ask you a question, if you don't mind; Do you think art therapy tackles the right brain well? <br />I am into drawing & painting, when depressed, I tend to draw my situation. A few days ago, I drew a mandala of my "self" and in it, I discovered a few things including "No love - No care" which appeared suddenly ( along with other things). It's like my subconscious is trying to reach out. IT is is true, I admit. I was not well loved at home (abused physically & emotionally for 4 years by mom & an absent Dad almost all years) <br /><br />Do you think (for now) it can help me?<br /><br />Also, through trying to find meaning of my past drawings, I discovered other issues. Things I didn't know about myself unconsciously.<br /><br />What is your opinion? Can this help me? <br /><br />I am looking forward for you answer.<br /><br />Keep up, your not just great- but, amazing work! You deserve much more!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />HarmonyHarmonynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-80943755487625274102012-01-06T00:52:36.692-08:002012-01-06T00:52:36.692-08:00About not being able to socialize like one used to...About not being able to socialize like one used to....<br /><br />For about 5 years I listed things-to-do in an urban area on various websites. I became quite popular. I also got into many big ticket events for free. However, I could never monetize my efforts beyond certain pittances...so I sensed sooner or later the worm would turn. <br /><br />Meanwhile, I liked the attention, notoriety, etc. I suppose it gave me a sense of what families could be like.<br /><br />Then I started feeling the ROI wasn't worth it. Beyond the lack of money, I began to see too many of the same people at events...and they me. After saying "Hello!" I had nothing to say to most attendees. In truth, we had little in common save complimentary drinks and appetizers.<br /><br />Yet I don't think becoming a hermit is the answer. Isolation solves nothing. It's one thing to stay home when you want to, quite another when you feel there's nowhere else to go.<br /><br />I think it's grand and good to meet kindred souls. Especially for those who were denied support from families and/or who got the wrong kind of attention.<br /><br />The Internet provides tons of social-networking tools (Facebook, Meetup, Eventbrite, etc.). You can search for extant groups or form your own. You can even arrange conference calls on Skype meetings.<br /><br />So...has anyone tried to create a Meetup for "Janov Admirers" in their town-city-region? Or a book club to discuss Art's opuses? Libraries and other non-profits sometimes provide meeting places and promotions for folks interested in discussions. You could see who might host a club called "Arthur's Anonymous"...A support group for people withdrawing from neurosis. :>)<br /><br />Once you meet similar-minded folks the rest of life can happen, too: dinners, dancing, movies, love, and so on.<br /><br />I personally find this blog...GREAT! I'm proud to be able to hear from "Papa Primal" himself 42 years after reading THE PRIMAL SCREAM. I was so moved by it that I convinced a half-dozen friends from the Midwest to move to New England and experience it with me. <br /><br />Unfortunately it was a mock Institute that wreaked havoc on most attendees. Still, I always sensed there was much truth, and great integrity, in Art himself (unlike, say, Carlos Casteneda and other hucksters). Would that I wasn't so burned. It would have been healing to try the real deal back then, when I had more money.<br /><br />Oh well.<br /><br />I find the words of others here comforting. Inspiring even. I use them as "Dumbo feathers," borrowing them when my own courage falters.<br /><br />Now...for a bit of levity, check these:<br /><br />http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primal_Scream_(Harvard)<br /><br />http://tinyurl.com/7y3u3eu<br /><br />http://www.meetup.com/Edinburgh-Live-Music-Lets-Go/events/31514402/Trevorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14374461848986737683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-3671020157031985212012-01-05T23:47:00.658-08:002012-01-05T23:47:00.658-08:00> "Subconsciously we are drawn to loneline...> "Subconsciously we are drawn to loneliness because it's a safe place to hide."<br /><br />Or maybe love seems too scary, unreliable, and potentially painful.<br /><br />Do people procrastinate because they're lazy...or because the task seems too difficult? Maybe they fear success will be held against them. Or think something will come along and queer the deal (like a movie that starts happily but ends with everyone miserable or blown to shitereens).<br /><br />I don't think anyone "naturally" chooses to NOT meet needs. Someone or something has to teach him/her to be guarded, hesitant, etc.<br /><br />If people are tense, suggesting they relax usually makes them more tense. Ditto yelling "Just do it!" If they hesitate it's probably because they WANT to act but fear failing. Or think they can't "get 'er done." Or might succeed but then be unloved by envious others (witness how celebrity magazines love to see successful folks fail!). <br /><br />Who wants to feel unsupported, mocked, shunned, and so on?<br /><br />I used to "like" getting chilled outside in winter, just before going home for supper in grammar school. I knew our house would be emotionally cold. So I substituted the contrast between furnace heat and outdoor cold to feel "something."<br /><br />Masturbating later provided a similar sense of "aliveness" in The House of Emotional Death. If you're mocked for publicly needing, you'll comfort yourself in private. <br /><br />I also held back on intimate relationships with women because I feared they'd discover the "real" me and leave. I was not a good ice-breaker. Yet once in conversation, I was fine. The problem then became "closing the deal." How to go from the relative safety of left-brain "talk" to the scarier right-brain world of meeting needs?<br /><br />And what hetero male hasn't felt the sting of asking a female who's danced with others to dance and hear her say, "No!"? It feels like more than declining a dance. It's like she's rejecting you in toto.<br /><br />On the other hand, I sometimes felt I "had" to like whomever liked me; that it was "wrong" to want more. Like I'd hurt the feelings of strawberry ice cream (myself? my mother?) if I ordered what I really wanted: pistachio! Like my happiness hurt others. <br /><br />I thought denying myself meant I was "strong." In fact I was afraid to admit I wasn't loved by my family...and so felt unlovable altogether. Easier to forego love than ask for it and be denied. Again.<br /><br />I had great empathy for others' suffering, but couldn't imagine anyone caring about mine.<br /><br />I don't think I would have felt that way, or acted hesitant, if my family had been warmer and more supportive. My needs for love, consistency, encouragement, guidance, etc. were ignored/mocked/back-burnered. My role in our "family circus" was to contort myself to amuse others.<br /><br />Sex was also never mentioned, save as "disgusting" (in the traditional Catholic-aversion-to-premarital-sex way).<br /><br />Even now I TALK about getting massages while balking. It's like I'm afraid I'll start blubbering like a baby or cause the masseuse to run away in disgust. <br /><br />Odd, too, since my left brain "knows" I'm good looking. My right brain, though, says, "Really? Then why did your own family not hold you or show much attention?"<br /><br />So I'll keep y'all posted about any "primals" I experience during massages and/or salsa lessons. <br /><br />Seems silly, I know, but aren't we sometimes most afraid to try to meet simple, basic needs? There's nowhere to hide if we fail. If you're hungry and in a supermarket it's one thing. But if you're hungry and there's just one kebob left at the park vending cart-- and you don't get it-- well, you have no excuse or place to hide or food. You just have your pain.Trevorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14374461848986737683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-61726098513642259492012-01-05T12:33:29.143-08:002012-01-05T12:33:29.143-08:00Anonymous: Or you can organize something on your o...Anonymous: Or you can organize something on your own. It is your world. Do what you want with it. artArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-45146369424557398582012-01-04T12:09:01.638-08:002012-01-04T12:09:01.638-08:00(author of "Does anybody else contend with th...(author of "Does anybody else contend with this?")<br /><br />Thank you so much for your responses. Your individual takes on this has helped me accept another painful reality I'd rather not see/experience: How lonely it can be coming to oneself in this world. I see now that I have been heretofore clinging to the pale comfort I have found in the company of my social world(s), behaving in ways I know that will keep me in their good graces, in order to stave off this horrible feeling of loneliness that has been pressing upon me with increasing magnitude. I love my friends despite the gaps between us and I will stay with them, but it is clear I have to learn to be true to myself first and foremost. What I have been doing to myself is not their fault.<br /><br />Thanks again, all. Art, this is your blog and it occurs to me that this may not be the right "cyber place" for us primal folk to talk to each other. Is there an online forum out there for us primal-ers? Or perhaps you are content to have us sort things out here from time to time?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-71713010100073237542012-01-04T09:39:52.379-08:002012-01-04T09:39:52.379-08:00The Britihs historian Michael Howard was also like...The Britihs historian Michael Howard was also like A. Janov thrown into the war. He fought in many battles in southern Italy as troop commander. He has used most of his adult life studying the phenomenon war.<br /><br />Howard emphasizes that war is the worst of evil a human can experience.<br />How is a soldier´s encounter with the war? Howard say the war is unique. <br /><br />Think of a swimmer who practice a whole career and in the moment he shall try to win a medal in Olympic games he get a pool with water to swim in. So it is for a soldier who is thrown into a battle, from manage a lot of material, buildings and personal the worst evil of the war. All of human feelings are mobilized under such conditions.hermannfohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05943961688627701420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-70744201781265449832012-01-03T14:02:52.932-08:002012-01-03T14:02:52.932-08:00Steve and Art,
My 21yr old son and I occasionally...Steve and Art,<br /><br />My 21yr old son and I occasionally break down together, mostly we prefer being on our own. . .<br /><br />I can't carry on being his coach. . .<br /><br />It's become a duty to my entire family and friends to get to the clinic as well as for myself. Even if most of them are under the influence of repression and self suppression.<br /><br />On the subject of "shallow interactions":<br /><br />Before I contacted my true feelings I could easily notice other peoples' self defeating behaviour and also peoples' tendencies to become identified with their own pain, acting the 'victim', 'crying about some thing'.<br /><br />I could easily and pompously judge others by saying they were exhibiting 'self fulfilling prophesy and acting the victim'.<br /><br />Now that I'm breaking down there are four particularly cerebral people I know (including my ex who has limited contact with our daughter) telling me I'm in a self fulfilling prophesy and acting the victim.<br /><br />The funny thing is, that hardly rankles at all, compared to when my true feelings were bottled up and I could pass that judgement onto others! Boy oh boy oh boy, wasn't I sneering and pissed off with those 'wimps'. . .<br /><br />I felt so remorseful about that when my true feelings surfaced and now people (blocked up in their own emotions) say the same thing to me. . . Sometimes I just smile. . .<br /><br />If necessary I'll swim the Atlantic.<br /><br />Paul G.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02006514330039884557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-91691880180203226412012-01-03T10:48:21.922-08:002012-01-03T10:48:21.922-08:00Art, thank you very much for your reply. Though I ...Art, thank you very much for your reply. Though I am sure it was never your intention you have left me with a nice feeling and a smile on my face. Why? Well I just cannot imagine anyone’s kids here in the UK ‘sitting’ for their parent in the way that you are describing, sadly it would never happen, yet what you have described sounds beautiful to me beyond words. Painful in the Primal way for sure, but it still sounds ever so human when you say your kids sat with you at the start. Thank you for sharing that with us. <br /><br />Regards<br />SteveStevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04383880653464812820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-23277058066598736222012-01-02T18:15:41.642-08:002012-01-02T18:15:41.642-08:00Sorry, ditto Art above re ultrasoundSorry, ditto Art above re ultrasoundJacquiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10794214106644328210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-80220392821179473042012-01-02T14:46:51.091-08:002012-01-02T14:46:51.091-08:00Dr. Janov,
is it really possible for the brain to...Dr. Janov,<br /><br />is it really possible for the brain to shut down completely and not register danger? <br />How can this happen? <br />Maybe if the memory is triggered by confrontation it will awaken? <br /> <br />I also did not remember that I tried committing suicide in 1962 at age 13, but the memory came back in 2004. <br />In 2002 I visited my hometown for the second time and confronted myself again with all the familiar places, most of all the places off horror. <br />I was standing on railing on the outer rim of the castle in my hometown, my eyes gazing with pleasure over the romantic town laying 800 Meter below. I felt a deep connection until I saw the rock 200 meters below, bulging out from the solid Granit where the castle stands. Fear crept up and the butterflies in my stomach made me leave the Castle area in panic, not knowing why. <br />In 2004 I talked to a school friend and she told me that my best friend Heidi told her back then, that she was with me on the Falcon Rock when I wanted to jump (we called it the Falcon-rock because Falcons were nesting there in safety). I did not believe her at the time. The reason; I normally finish what I start. Finally two years later my memory came back, triggered by a picture from the Falcon-Rock from a different angle. <br />I know now why I did not not jumped. Heidi asked me: “what happens if you do not die and you end up as a cripple - then they will torture you even more”, (meaning my parents). <br />This memory was also confirmed by a woman who saw me at the time standing there and called the police. I however don’t remember the police part. At least not yet.<br /><br />SieglindeS. W. Alexanderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12087227301358286386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-68055890017053165112012-01-02T01:02:14.338-08:002012-01-02T01:02:14.338-08:00Frank: I know that amniocentesis is not good but I...Frank: I know that amniocentesis is not good but I am not aware of what ultrasound does. I am sure that the readers do. artArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-81717104970109387282012-01-01T16:16:35.217-08:002012-01-01T16:16:35.217-08:00Hi,
It is the beginning of the end of your own cr...Hi,<br /><br />It is the beginning of the end of your own craziness when you loose your desire and ability to go along with everyone elses' craziness.<br /><br />We just have to go through the loneliness, it's not possible to circumnavigate that emptiness (unless you can actually construct a new false self, some do). No matter how painful the trek is, we can take pride in being true to who we really are and not playing along as and with a hollow facade.<br /><br />Everybody fighting off the resonance. Pretending to be shiny rocks, in a brave new world.<br /><br />Paul G.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02006514330039884557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-7446361770051637752012-01-01T15:55:55.657-08:002012-01-01T15:55:55.657-08:00Hi Patrick
I watched a recent film called "U...Hi Patrick<br /><br />I watched a recent film called "Unknown" starring Liam Neesan in which his character says "Insanity is the war between who we are told we should be and who we know ourselves to be". I love that quote. It sums up so much in so few words. Those girls (and billions of others) telling you should not feel like that are suffering from that very war without even knowing it? I was sitting having lunch the other day and overheard a young woman say "Oh he would make a wonderful Boyfriend once he has been formed". Who did she think she was to think like that. God help any poor bloke who meets her. What fills me with hope is that a main stream film like "Unknown" can offer a little ray of sunshine in one phrase.planespotterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05315637682741508786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-48297091660617663562012-01-01T14:51:09.390-08:002012-01-01T14:51:09.390-08:00A comment by planespotter that got erased by mista...A comment by planespotter that got erased by mistake:<br /><i>"Hi Anonymous<br /><br />I have not had Primal Therapy yet but hope to soon.<br /><br />I would say that my reading and recovery from a breakdown (I call it my breakthrough) has caused me to feel very much like you do. As I have recovered and got more in touch with my feelings and my true past I have gained far more empathy for other people. I seem to be surrounded by pain in my friends etc. I think it does cause one to feel more cut off from people. I find it hard to be able to say what I wish sometimes because I know it will alienate someone. I think that in some ways it is about learning to be with oneself more. I would say that I was and can still be a very suggestable person so I am easily influenced by others feelings because that is how I was brought up. I had to accept the role and personality I was given by Parents and thus even now if I am not careful I still act as this involuntary sponge and so have broken off contact with some other sick people simply because it did me no good to be around them. <br /></i>"Arthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-60162955459262546542012-01-01T13:35:57.332-08:002012-01-01T13:35:57.332-08:00Paul,
"interference from my right brain that...Paul,<br /><br />"interference from my right brain that I can't concentrate" Paul... do you know how right and big that question is? That is a main question for alot of us... if we only could "acknowledge" that. Leaking pain that affects us in everything we do... allways with no mercy... that is our life... can anyone imagine that? That is the the pain the child in us had and we has to fight against... with no "mercy" if we not go to the Primal Center.<br /><br />Frank<br />FrankFrankhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02242354226308728116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-48554869874009860682012-01-01T04:34:44.621-08:002012-01-01T04:34:44.621-08:00Sieglinde: My memory did not come back because I t...Sieglinde: My memory did not come back because I think it never got registered in the first place. Art.Arthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-36949202229049867512012-01-01T04:33:29.903-08:002012-01-01T04:33:29.903-08:00Sieglinde: Yes of course you can recommend it. Wh...Sieglinde: Yes of course you can recommend it. What I do is recommend they read the Primal Scream. After that, they can decide. No one should go because a wife or husband insists on it. artArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-50346777614373872052012-01-01T04:31:21.479-08:002012-01-01T04:31:21.479-08:00Steve: Yes my biographer will clarify all that. H...Steve: Yes my biographer will clarify all that. He and I meet this next week. It is very slow due to my throat. Anyone know who is doing stem cell therapy? At the start it was my kids who sat for me and they did just fine. Then I had therapy in my clinic by one of my therapists. I sat in the waiting room just like all other patients. artArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-57334888168207288822012-01-01T04:27:18.582-08:002012-01-01T04:27:18.582-08:00Sieglinde: You know the answer. Do not believe th...Sieglinde: You know the answer. Do not believe that some wiseman has all the knowledge about your life. You have it. artArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-18729648074266975882012-01-01T03:51:46.849-08:002012-01-01T03:51:46.849-08:00Anonymous,
I wish that I could have put it so clea...Anonymous,<br />I wish that I could have put it so clearly. What you are experiencing is exaxtly what is happening to me. I find other people so disconnected. I find it difficult to talk to them without feeling "false". So, in order to have some company, I sometimes dance along with what their buzz is. <br /><br />As for my family, it seems as if I had moved millions of kilometres away from them. They are wary of me, because I am the one that is "strange", you know......I do not attend their happy-clappy churches, and I cannot stand being around them listening to one "naughty wink-wink" joke after another. <br /><br />Their is no-one else here where I live, with whom I can comfortably socialise, never mind buddying. So what I do I seek out women who seem to be more calm, relaxed and perhaps even somewhat demure. But the craziness soon shows, usually in the form of religious beliefs, or some other esoteric booga booga. It is a case of knowing so much about humans, and ourselves, (having felt so much of our pain), and being able to spot neurosis a long distance away.<br />Express a feelling and out comes the ideations, or the attempt to rob you of your feeling, i.e. "Oh, you shouldn't feel that way about it.<br />Have you tried bio-feedback?" or something akin to that. So we tolerate them. It actually pains me to see the total ignorance, the unawareness, the unconsciousness. I want to help and enlighten, but one is up against a solid wall of disconnectedness and left-brain effluence. <br /><br />On the other hand, I want to say how wonderful it is to be a feeling person and to be able to "lie down and feel it" as France Janov said.<br />Connecting with deep-down first-line pain is the most satisfying experience (and healing) experience anyone can have.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-7797626569043912742012-01-01T03:48:34.707-08:002012-01-01T03:48:34.707-08:00Art,
Happy new year to you to.
I would like to k...Art,<br /><br />Happy new year to you to.<br /><br />I would like to know if you have any experience of the consequences of an ultrasound in a pregnancy. There is a shared view on the question of what the ultrasound cause or not? Looking forward to your answer.<br /><br />FrankFrankhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02242354226308728116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-54367461476166716672011-12-31T22:16:06.394-08:002011-12-31T22:16:06.394-08:00Anonymous, I experienced what you describe, pretty...Anonymous, I experienced what you describe, pretty intensely, for the first couple years after I discovered Primal now 20 years ago. (Please note, I'm still yet to actually receive the therapy). I looked at *everything* (and I mean everything) thru Primal-tinted glasses.. It deeply affected all aspects of my life, yes my connections w/people, and my choices. Then somehow it led me to a place of being able to see the pain in everyone- taking various forms, we all have it, we are all the same, we are all human. This more compassionate view has led me to if anything connect more deeply w/people, even if that isn't necessarily played out w/them. Hope this helps.Jacquiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10794214106644328210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-8694010948425703882011-12-31T12:43:56.602-08:002011-12-31T12:43:56.602-08:00Dr. Janov,
You say: “Yet this person decides to ha...Dr. Janov,<br />You say: “Yet this person decides to have therapy, not because he suffers but because his wife told him to as she could not stand it anymore.” <br />Would you say that nobody should recommend therapy? Not even PT? <br /><br />“I was unconscious of my life;” <br />Did some of your memory came back, after your friends told you about what has happen? <br /><br />I think the human brain is most interesting and utterly frightening.<br />SieglindeS. W. Alexanderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12087227301358286386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-9289563872302386482011-12-31T11:21:00.652-08:002011-12-31T11:21:00.652-08:00anonymous, you have just described my entire life....anonymous, you have just described my entire life. i'm not in therapy yet but i know exactly what you mean. i can't connect with people. i had ONE best friend but he went overseas. he phoned me and asked me to come over to australia but i told him i needed to continue with my music career in new zealand. i lost his number and i can't find him on the internet. <br />i was the class reject when i was five. all of the kids snubbed me. nothing has changed since then. i want to be realistic but no one else does. lots of people think they like me until i refuse to play their CRAZY games. i get so irritated when people support each other's neurotic ideas, and then they expect me to join in. yes, i am neurotic, i have neurotic ideas, i am crazy.....but not THAT crazy. people don't WANT to feel. they want to play feelingish GAMES. C R A Z Y.<br />i see couples cuddling each other, and there is ALWAYS something wrong...a rehearsed tone in their voices...something fake. it always has to be fake....they can't handle a REAL cuddle. they just can't do it. <br />whenever one person senses the other persons's selfishness, the feeling quickly turns into a deep ugly hatred. but soon they will be in bed again.....all feelings are forgotten.....nothing but an insignificant sexual release between two people who can't even be friends. they giggle and smile at each other because all is forgotten.<br />people talk to me about sex as if it is food. "i love it like this....i prefer it like that. how do you like IT. come and get some. richard, why aren't you fucking? are you shy? are you gay? just start with the ugly girls and work your way up"<br />and the girls pretend to be better than that but they are not. the average girl is perhaps slightly more feeling than the average guy, but ultimately, everyone is a whore. girls use charm and sex appeal to get their PRIZE. people want some kind of prize....the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect achievement...whatever. the prize is the intellectual meaning of life. it is VERY intellectual. people think about the prize before they accept it. "is it good enough? could i do better?" i know when a girl is sizing me up. checking me out. chatting with her friends. "is he worth it?" and then as soon as i say something a little too real...like..."no i am not happy" CHING!! suddenly her intellect decides that i am worth NOTHING. immediately her face loses interest and the conversation becomes a strain. she wants to get rid of me. she's not listening. nothing i say can bring her back. she has made her decision and it is final. wow.<br />i can't stand this world. i can't even hang out with my nieces and nephews because their fucked up parents think i am a bad influence. kids are the friendliest people in the world, and i am not allowed to be their friend. what a wonderful world.<br />yes anonymous, i know what you mean. you need real friends. and i need to get to the primal center before i have a stroke or a heart attack.Richard Atkinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13587935146938446604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-4159895843163942202011-12-31T08:26:43.347-08:002011-12-31T08:26:43.347-08:00To anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. I've ...To anonymous,<br />I understand your dilemma. I've refused several proposals from friends to spend the new year's eve drinking and eating with them...I don't even know why...I just don't feel like partying tonight. I've met some of them yesterday and will in the following days. It's just the compulsory part of all that that annoys me in fact. Funny you wrote about that because that is what I'm in right now.Yannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09806913165189012161noreply@blogger.com