tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post2655750914667973680..comments2024-02-11T18:16:53.445-08:00Comments on Janov's Reflections on the Human Condition: The Simple Truth is Revolutionary: Can Love Save our Lives?Arthur Janovhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16709863014923629409noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-12276873534345919552014-04-15T18:19:13.274-07:002014-04-15T18:19:13.274-07:00Forgiveness isn´t that complicated. If you´re real...Forgiveness isn´t that complicated. If you´re really SORRY you hurt someone you just spontaneously SAY so. "Oh I´m SORRY." And if you have a good relationship the other one won´t say (haughtily) "Yes I forgive you, you poor sinner." :) But just HUG you. (a moment of heart to heart.) On the other hand to forgive someone who isn´t sorry is just stupid. The other will just think "Who cares??" (or if the forgiveness is done just in your MIND won´t even KNOW it.) The MOST stupid of all is to forgive say Hitler for the Holocaust. "The Holocaust was HORRIBLE. But I forgive you, Adolf. You didn´t know better, you poor sod!" :) (the implication here is that the forgiver is GOD.)<br />IngaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-82305888807705554982012-07-12T23:37:44.802-07:002012-07-12T23:37:44.802-07:00Yes. art.Yes. art.Arthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-91919032106548813852012-07-06T18:22:23.415-07:002012-07-06T18:22:23.415-07:00Hi planespotter,
From the early days of English f...Hi planespotter,<br /><br />From the early days of English feminism it was influenced by the upper middle class lesbian minority who still see "ordinary" people as 'breeders'. This 'movement' has down classed since then.<br /><br />I'm a breeder.<br /><br />There is an arrogance that accompanies repression. . . There are different styles, mine is perfectionism; I'm such a bloody know all. The lesbian / feminists are responsible in England for making womens' empowerment into a separatist movement. That is their arrogance.<br /><br />I have found that ardent homosexuals of both sexes are often the most sexist. Contrary to the notion that many women love gay men, in England many lesbian women Hate men. That is true and it has spoiled old school feminism. Consequently you can find misandry in nearly every child benefit form, every social services office, every hospital and every doctors' surgery.<br /><br />You may not notice this until you become a single parent father.<br />Up against the 'Mothers' Union' which assumes all primary carers must be women and all 'normal men' must be good bread winners and only interested in 'one thing'.<br /><br />Same old same old.<br />Paul G.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02006514330039884557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-54709281683948238022012-07-06T02:54:06.014-07:002012-07-06T02:54:06.014-07:00Hallo, way2sunny!
I was very interested in your c...Hallo, way2sunny!<br /><br />I was very interested in your comment here. I alos think that, despite the terrible things that you say have happened to you, you were one of the lucky people who managed to escape! Yes, escape, for you found and created love and rejected your birth family, not going back to an unending cycle of trying to change them, to 'persuade' them to love you by behaviour. I presume you haven't had so called 'friends' who somehow are exact replicas of your cruel, dominating family, either? You have done the best and bravest thing by liberating yourself through difference, by turning your back on the past. I quite envy you frankly! Not everyone with a terrible start has a choice or stays so open minded as you have. Bravo to you!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-44637678860825582152012-07-05T00:12:54.248-07:002012-07-05T00:12:54.248-07:00"anyways, i think that the life in the womb c..."anyways, i think that the life in the womb could help to understand better the cause for autism that is still unknown. correcting : it would be a good research point for the Primal Center."<br /><br />Rob<br /><br />In the 1950's and 60's "Refridgerator Mothers" were seen as the cause of Autism and Asbergers. Alice Miller is of the opinion that Autism is simply incredibly deep emotional repression. I have a God Son who has been diagnosed with Asbergers. He is refreshingly frank in his questions about life and has no sense of humour. His Mother is a depressive I would say and yet does not even recognise she is. She had a very difficult birth and her Son ended up in an incubator for a number of weeks. This must have had a profound effect on him. He is a "Day Dreamer" and is very forgetful. His Father is critical of him and both his Parents laugh at him and mock him for his affliction. I have tried to get both of them to read The Primal Scream as well as some of Miller's books to no avail. His Mother is the sympath I would say and spends her whole running away from her feelings and is too scared to look inside her head. She can be a dreadful bully. Thus the Boy's problems are probably caused by a combination of things at first line.<br /><br />I think that sometimes condition's do have known causes and then Society moves on and avoids looking at them. It's bit like Art's frustration with the gay community for pushing to have homosexuality accepted as "normal". Femenism has also tended to sometimes allow women to abdicate responsibility as Mothers. Motherhood is now often beyond the realms of accepting responsibility. Miller wrote a piece called "Are women as violent as men" for her website and it was published in one of her later books that I have. Shortly after her death it was removed. This suggests that there are some who do not like that subject discussed and thus society is never as honest as it needs to be for true liberation of the species including those with "autism".planespotterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05315637682741508786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-38365806116589799792012-07-04T09:04:00.589-07:002012-07-04T09:04:00.589-07:00My own personal experience is that, if we as young...My own personal experience is that, if we as young children, do not receive the loving physical contact we need to help us grow into happy, healthy adults, we begin a life-long search in every area of our lives for that love. In my case, tranquillizers and alcohol to block out the pain.Margaret Coynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10458357083924992670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-43699245959689201382012-06-30T00:52:42.376-07:002012-06-30T00:52:42.376-07:00What is Instinct? I wonder how much of this is inh...What is Instinct? I wonder how much of this is inherited and how much from very early experience. After all Dr Brazelton proved that the maternal so called instinct was actually learned. If we are treated badly by our Parents we may also experience afffection and love from other sources and because our physiology needs love to develop properly we turn towards it like a flower to the Sun. My Mother was not a very loving person and my Father a sociopathic dictator. Thus when my Aunt showed me kindness etc I absorbed it like a dry sponge. In fact my whole family have this odd interaction where other Mothers (and Fathers) show more affection towards a nephew or niece than towards their own kids and probably because this is how they experienced love as children themselves. An unconcious reaction to early trauma. Therefore everyone can beleive themselves to be loved and yet not see that they are not loved by the person they need to be loved by. I even wonder whether this is the basis of extra marital affairs. If one experiences the major love in one's childhood from a source external to the nuclear family one will always look for love in that way so when married that marriage can never provide the deep love one needs so one tends to fall back on childish experiences and look elsewhere.planespotterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05315637682741508786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-2892745030611667272012-06-28T06:28:49.068-07:002012-06-28T06:28:49.068-07:00You are right, Paul! I DO hope you are not allowin...You are right, Paul! I DO hope you are not allowing the shrinks to give you a 'psychiatric assessment'. What do THEY know? I can't think of a title for your book, Art though I have given it much thought! Sadly I can't see myself coming to the Primal Centre as I can't afford the money involved for lodging etc + fares + 50 pc. therapy and I've had problems with the application process which I finished in May. Also I have found skyping to be much too difficult. I tried it and had a lesson in a library on it. How can anyone with surging feelings go through the rather complex and ,considerable details of getting onto a skype system on a computer? So it looks like all the odds are against me but that again is the story of my life so I'm not surprised! Sieglinde, regarding breast feeding, I am glad I never was, for my cold mother hated my guts for no reason and made all my three sisters hate me too. I think I would have feared drawing in her hatred if she had done that to me or hugged me even once. When I was nine I told her, 'I wish you were dead!' (my only response about the considerable daily humiliations, and violence I endured.She told me I'd never forget what I said and always regret it. I did later, for she had cancer and I didnt know it and she died (poor woman) a few months afterwards. I DO think people should contribute to the therapy as it is in need of money and it is largely unrecognised and is so important!!!!Art has been saying earnestly on this web site that the Primal Centre are in urgent need of money!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-16256107611202966042012-06-26T13:17:42.436-07:002012-06-26T13:17:42.436-07:00Hi Art & Anonymous,
I feel there are some ins...Hi Art & Anonymous,<br /><br />I feel there are some instinctual drives to nurture and to care and love, still inside us humans but it seems that repression is to blame for the absence in us when it is absent.<br /><br />It's repression that's holding back these instincts. That's my feeling about it.<br /><br />Paul G.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02006514330039884557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-55263139947810517032012-06-25T05:41:42.858-07:002012-06-25T05:41:42.858-07:00Love
the missing link. JacquieLove <br />the missing link. JacquieJacquiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10794214106644328210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-77201663830752690562012-06-25T02:34:05.476-07:002012-06-25T02:34:05.476-07:00Richard: Not sure. It sounds a bit like a "Ho...Richard: Not sure. It sounds a bit like a "How to" book which I am trying to avoid. Try again. Art.Arthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-89342064765633084822012-06-25T02:24:14.419-07:002012-06-25T02:24:14.419-07:00Graham: It is also true that we cannot accept peop...Graham: It is also true that we cannot accept people into therapy when I do not understand the affliction. It would be dishonest of me to treat something I know so little about. ArtArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-64633183998549034222012-06-25T02:17:45.872-07:002012-06-25T02:17:45.872-07:00Anonymous: I donno. We do indeed liberate the abi...Anonymous: I donno. We do indeed liberate the ability to love in our patients and they can now love their partners to save the marriage, and love their children to save their lives. ArtArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-60353293001276262902012-06-24T18:49:25.722-07:002012-06-24T18:49:25.722-07:00HOW TO FIND
HAPPINESS
Arthur Janov, PHDHOW TO FIND<br />HAPPINESS<br /><br />Arthur Janov, PHDRichard Atkinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13587935146938446604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-88363889880467149222012-06-24T05:54:15.333-07:002012-06-24T05:54:15.333-07:00It seems to me that in his anxiety to differentiat...It seems to me that in his anxiety to differentiate the Primal Center from the Primal Institute, Dr Janov has managed to evade the actual point that Rob was trying to make:<br /><br />"Its probably more difficult for an autist to make his own way to Primal Therapy, maybe that`s why you haven`t treated it.."<br /><br />Might it be true that their are some types of patient you haven't had much experience of, just because they haven't been able to make it to the Center?Grahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03307474439208705495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-71117686174513966762012-06-24T05:47:09.334-07:002012-06-24T05:47:09.334-07:00Art
Thinking about in regard to children and the...Art<br /><br />Thinking about in regard to children and their parents, I wonder if the INSTINCT to love children and do what was right for them at every given moment was once in the human genes. If early men and women naturally possessed an instinct to REALLY respond in the right, loving way to their children.It is obvious that there is no longer an instinct which the animal kingdom largely has retained, which is why they (appear at least) to be so affectionate to their babies. (Aside from a programme about meerkats when a mother repeatedly rejected one female child. She had several others.)But the human animal has at some stage in their development become extremely cruel or emotionally detached from the feelings and needs of themselves and their off spring. It can't always have been so! I am sure you have written about this. But, the INSTINCT to love and cherish the child seems to be one that has either died or been forgotten.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-48231281564080224472012-06-24T04:00:22.346-07:002012-06-24T04:00:22.346-07:00i`m sorry i didn`t knew that. so primal institute ...i`m sorry i didn`t knew that. so primal institute is part of the misguided primals there are around?<br /><br />anyways, i think that the life in the womb could help to understand better the cause for autism that is still unknown. correcting : it would be a good research point for the Primal Center.<br /><br />robRobnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-44025226706040358942012-06-24T01:54:09.933-07:002012-06-24T01:54:09.933-07:00Andrew: Couldn't say it better myself. art.Andrew: Couldn't say it better myself. art.Arthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-39151954456474654642012-06-23T04:53:41.542-07:002012-06-23T04:53:41.542-07:00Art: I think your meaning was..."Forgiveness ...Art: I think your meaning was..."Forgiveness is not a sincere feeling, but an exploited act-out for an ego trip at the "forgiven" persons (then belittled) expense ie. a way of saying "look at me - I'm the bigger person". You can correct me if that's wrong???<br /><br />...My blurb was really intended as a follow-on from Richard's thing. I notice this doesn't show up in the reply function though. I'll take note to specify my reply's in future.Andrew D Atkinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04492591375757227409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-64798066596205616222012-06-23T04:29:59.018-07:002012-06-23T04:29:59.018-07:00Andrew: You missed my meaning. Read again. art.Andrew: You missed my meaning. Read again. art.Arthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-22551657982779144722012-06-23T04:26:02.105-07:002012-06-23T04:26:02.105-07:00Rob: I am not sure what you mean since we are the ...Rob: I am not sure what you mean since we are the primal center and I have not been at the Primal Institute for 30 years. artArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-67811800928058680812012-06-23T04:24:47.750-07:002012-06-23T04:24:47.750-07:00Nenad: We had some luck with narcolepsy but I neve...Nenad: We had some luck with narcolepsy but I never promise a cure for anything. artArthur Janovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18009571728800026496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-3820214734046759652012-06-22T05:43:48.955-07:002012-06-22T05:43:48.955-07:00Trevor,
I have similar perceptions about my '...Trevor,<br /><br />I have similar perceptions about my 'family'.<br /><br />My Dad bought me a Teddy but my 'Father' made me feel guilty about missing my Mum.<br /><br />My Dad wanted the best for me but the best costs money and my Father made me feel guilty for wasting my private education. . . <br /><br />I went on holidays with my Dad but my Father 'took' me sailing. . .<br /><br />My Dad gave me hugs but my Father rejected me. . .<br /><br />If only there would be one apology that clearly acknowledged his errors. . . Then I would not be waiting, waiting, hoping, hoping. . .<br /><br />Paul G.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02006514330039884557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-92055401663586731992012-06-21T20:13:57.869-07:002012-06-21T20:13:57.869-07:00All this talk of Love..I can tell you as a surivio...All this talk of Love..I can tell you as a surivior of child abuse..physical, mental and sexual it can be done- to survive. I hated myself and them..ran away at 15 got married at 17 had my first child at 21 and second at 22. That began my journey to make myself healthy for my children. Loving them was truly the thing that saved my life. Loving myself gave me the power to change my life. <br />You can survive and break the cycle. Live with great love for your children, god and life.way2sunnynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3420173096635836108.post-50960138827475036872012-06-21T09:26:54.978-07:002012-06-21T09:26:54.978-07:00it is for shore a good research point for the Prim...it is for shore a good research point for the Primal Institute, isn`t it? its probably more difficult for an autist to make his own way to Primal Therapy, maybe that`s why you haven`t treated it..<br /><br />RobRobnoreply@blogger.com